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Because of me.
I fought against the hurt that he’d thought there was any chance I wouldn’t show. That was on me. I had to earn back his trust.
My lips were burning with the need to kiss him. My fangs were trying to punch through my gums, just the proximity of Matty enough to make me thirsty.
But I controlled myself. Nothing was going to happen without Matty initiating it. And if that never happened?
Then I’d find a way to live with it.
“Morning, sunshine,” I said, giving him a tentative smile and holding up the bag. “I brought ingredients to make us breakfast.”
His brows flew up. “You did? I didn’t know you could cook.”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but I make a mean pancake. I wasn’t sure what toppings you like, so I got a few of my favourites. Maybe we can find out if we like the same things.”
Matty’s eyes softened as he heard the underlying meaning in my words. This was more than just breakfast. It was about me opening up to him.
Bracing myself, I continued, “I brought enough for Ferry and Leo as well, if they’d like to join us.”
Something clattered behind Matty, making him wince. “You did?”
I smiled at him again. “Of course, sunshine. I’d like to get to know them better. They’re important to you, so they’re important to me.”
There was muffled whispering, then Ferry called out, “Let him in, Matty. Poor bloke has been out there an hour already.”
Balls. I’d forgotten about the wards.
Matty’s eyes widened comically. “Wait, you have?”
“I was excited,” I muttered as Matty moved to let me enter. “Thanks for that, Ferry.”
The former Grim Reaper gave me an easy grin. “You’re welcome.”
As I kicked off my shoes, another pang went through me as I noted there wasn’t a single pair of Converse amongst them.
Had they become too painful for Matty to look at? Had he hidden them away like he had before?
It was yet another reminder of how I’d hurt him.
Leo appeared at my shoulder, peering down at the bag. “Pancakes, you say? You actually making them?”
I rolled my eyes, sarcasm rolling off my response. “No, I was going to just assemble the ingredients on the side and wait for the pancake fairy to visit.”
I froze, realising what I’d done.
To my surprise, Leo merely snorted and thumped me on the shoulder. “I assume he’s cousins with the waffle elf and the roast potato king?”
He sauntered off, chuckling to himself over his little joke and plopping down on Ferry’s lap.
Matty sidled up next to me, speaking quietly. “You can be yourself with them, Sebastian. I want to be with you, not the version of you you think I need. No one is expecting or wanting you to change.”
That was a difficult concept to wrap my head around. Obviously I was going to try and stop pushing everyone away…but honestly I’d thought that meant having to rein in my sarcasm and lack of filter. It’d be hard, but I was prepared to do it for Matty.
But was he really saying I didn’t need to change? That I could fit in with everyone despite all the rough edges to my personality?
Matty kept me company while I assembled breakfast. He didn’t speak much, just hovered near my elbow, peeking up at me from under his lashes.
I waited until I was pouring the first batch of batter into the pan before speaking. “My sister loved pancakes.”
