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I chuckled, unable to resist kissing him. “You’re going to learn there’s literally nothing I won’t do for you, sunshine.”
Matty sighed. “I want to believe that. Maybe that makes me selfish, wanting a partner who treats me that way?—”
“No, it doesn’t.” I cut off that negative thought process before he could even finish it. “You are the least selfish person I’ve ever met, and you deserve everything.”
“I don’t want everything, I just want you.”
“Have me, and I’ll spend the rest of eternity finding a way to give you everything.”
Chapter 34
Matty
“So, what do you think?” Sebastian asked excitedly as we closed the front door behind us.
“I think you need to buy it,” I replied, following him to his car. “I mean, it’s only polite after what we just did in there.”
“Don’t worry about that,” he said, waving a hand dismissively. “I doubt it’ll be the last time we fuck around somewhere we shouldn’t. Besides, we cleaned up after ourselves.”
Actually, Sebastian had cleaned up. I’d been too weak-kneed and distracted processing what he’d said to me after.
Words so hopeful I scarcely dared believe them. So terrifying in the power they had to break me.
I turned to look back up at the house, sighing in contentment as Sebastian wrapped his arms around me from behind. “So, sunshine? Is this the place?”
The place for us. For our family. That was the silent part he didn’t dare say, but we both knew what he meant.
I was quiet, like I was considering it. I didn’t have to though. I could already see myself baking in the kitchen while Sebastian sat at the kitchen island. Hosting Christmas dinner, Ferry and Leo sitting with us in the pretty dining room. Chasing a giggling child down the hallway as I tried to get them ready for a bath.
No, I was quiet because it was too easy to imagine.
And that terrified me.
“Matty, if this is too soon, we can wait,” Sebastian said quietly, his chin resting on my shoulder. “I can rent somewhere. Whatever makes you most comfortable.”
“You should buy it.” The words flew out automatically, but as I said them, I knew they were the right ones—the ones I wanted to say, even if I was scared. “This is the right decision.”
“If it’s the right decision then why are you so tense?”
I bit my lip, wondering how honest to be.
“Sunshine,” Sebastian said warningly, nuzzling at my neck. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“You’re promising me everything,” I blurted out. “What if you change your mind? You’re dangling my dream future in front of me, and I want to grab it…but I’m just so damned scared, Seb.”
“I know. You have every right to feel that way Matty. Do you know the difference between then and now though?”
I shook my head.
“Before, I was fighting against us. I didn’t make you any promises, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to follow through on them. This time, I’m fighting for us. I can make all these promises because nothing short of an apocalypse will stop me coming through for you. That doesn’t mean I won’t get things wrong sometimes. I’m sure there will many times when I irritate you or have to apologise because I’ve fucked up somehow. But the one thing that will never change is the love I have for you. You’re it for me, Matty. The one I want. The one I choose. Always.”
I shuddered as he placed a lingering kiss against my neck. “Don’t worry, sunshine. You’ll believe me eventually. I’ll keep telling you until you do.”
“Where are we going?”
It was Friday afternoon a week later, and we were in his car, racing up the M3. I’d spent every waking hour not in uni with Sebastian. We’d even fooled around a few times, but we still hadn’t had sex. At least, not the kind where he whispered dirty things in my ear while he filled me in other places.
That kind.
