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Lillianna
The rest of the night ends up being fun. We hung out and watched a movie. But by the halfway point of The Greatest Showman, all my little brothers fall asleep, so Brody and Jax take the twins up to bed as Bennett follows along half asleep with Rain behind him so he doesn’t fall.
Mom disappeared a while ago with Chase. I don’t even want to know what they were doing.
Now everyone else is upstairs, getting ready for bed, leaving Toby and I down in the movie room, alone.
“Want to watch another movie?” he asks me as the credits pop up on the screen.
“Sure.” I shrug. “Which one?”
“How about Scream?” he grins, and I laugh.
“I mean, I wouldn’t say no to sexy killer men in masks,” I tease.
He narrows his eyes. “You know what, never mind. What movies are there with ugly guys?” he grumbles as he pulls up Netflix.
“Toby.” I laugh and reach for the remote. But he’s quick, moving his arm so the remote’s just out of reach. “Toby!” I huff and move to go lean over him to grab it.
But the asshole moves it too far over, and I end up falling on top of him, right in his lap. He grunts, and my eyes shoot up to his. I realize my hand is very close to his dick right now.
My eyes widen, and I quickly move to put some distance between us, but then he does something that surprises the hell out of me.
He grabs me by the hips and flips me so that I’m no longer laying on top of his lap, but sitting in it. My body heats as he wraps his arms around me and hands me the remote. “We can watch your sexy killer movie,” he murmurs against my ear.
I’m stunned, not sure what to do. This isn’t something new for us—we’ve cuddled, hell, we’ve slept in the same bed before. So why does this time feel so different than all the others?
I should move, take the seat next to him, but I don’t. I can’t. I missed him too damn much, I missed this part of our relationship, the closeness. So I don’t move, I stay right where I am and, with shaky hands, I find the movie and press play.
It’s a good thing I’ve seen this movie more than once because I’m not paying attention at all. The whole time, my heart beats wildly in my chest, my palms are sweating, hell, I’m sweating all over. It’s wrong, I know it’s wrong, but I also can’t help the dull ache in my belly.
This means nothing to him, Lilly. Relax. Enjoy this moment while it lasts.
Yeah, easier said than done, especially when Toby starts rubbing his thumb back and forth slowly along my thigh.
Fucking hell, this man is killing me and he doesn’t even know it.
Or does he, because when I risk looking up at him, just ever so slightly, I don’t find him watching the movie. No, his eyes are on me.
“I’ve missed you, Little Flower,” he whispers, his lips close to my ear. I have to repress the shiver that threatens to run through my body. “I’m so fucking sorry for how I’ve treated you these past few years.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “Then why did you do it?” I whisper, bringing my full attention to him.
His eyes fill with pain. “I don’t know.” He sighs. “I really don’t. And I hate myself for it. Maybe I was getting a head start on how things would change once we get older, when we find lovers and start our lives with them. The way we were, we wouldn’t be able to be that close anymore.”
“Why not?” I ask, but I know why. The closeness we had, it wasn’t normal for siblings, step or blood related.
“You know why,” his voice is low, husky, and fuck, I want to kiss him. As if he can hear my thoughts, his eyes drop to my lips as he licks his.
This is what always confuses me. I don’t want to let myself believe he has the same feelings for me because the last time I did that, he crushed my heart into a million pieces. But how can I not when he looks at me like he wants to devour me.
“I promise, I’m done putting space between us. We’ll deal with life as it comes. I have hockey and school, I don’t have time to entertain any other girl but you. Because you're who’s most important to me, Lilly.” He lets out a sad chuckle. “I almost feel sorry for the girl I end up with.”
“Why’s that?” I ask, voice shaking.
He looks at me, really looks at me, deep into my eyes. “Because they will never measure up to what we have.”
My breathing is shaky, and I can’t look away. The air between us crackles, the tension so thick it’s almost suffocating.
