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There are demons lurking within me that I need to purge. My dad tried to get me help as I got older, thinking putting me in things like martial arts would help, and it did for the most part. But because I couldn’t use it outside of classes, it soon became pointless.
The only time I ever felt at ease and the demon backed off was when I was with Lilly. It’s partly why I selfishly kept her so close. That and I just needed to be with her.
“I know.” I run a hand through my hair and grasp at it, tugging hard enough to feel a sting before I let go. “I’m sorry. Just, fuck.” I scrub my face with my hand. “Last weekend, I fucked up, bad. Like, really bad.”
“I assumed as much.” He gives me a smirk that I want to wipe right off his face. “You plan on telling me how you managed to do that?”
I look around, afraid Jax or someone else is lurking nearby. “Not here.”
He nods and we head into the locker room.
Once we’re showered and out, we head to Bishop's Jeep, hockey bags in hand.
“Hey, Toby!” A voice that has my blood boiling calls out to me just as Katie steps in front of us, a few other puck bunnies lingering behind her. “How was practice?”
I’ve never liked Katie. She always came on too strong and never took the hint that I wasn’t interested in her. Mostly because of what her mother did to my family. At first, I didn’t want to judge her on her mother's past, because I don’t believe that a child should pay for their parent's mistakes. But Katie showed signs of being just like her mom. She’s my age, and I’ve unfortunately shared a few classes with her, so I know how she is with our fellow students.
But it’s what she did to Lilly the weekend before school started that has her on my permanent shit list. She fucked with Lilly, and now I officially despise her.
“Go away, Katie,” I mutter, moving to step past her. The girl has the nerve to look hurt.
“Why are you being so mean?” she pouts, crossing her arms, refusing to get out of my way as she moves with me, blocking my path.
I grind my teeth and take a deep breath. I’m already on edge, and she’s not helping at all. “I know what you did to Lilly, and I don’t appreciate people messing with the people I care about.”
“Oh, come on.” She rolls her eyes. “It was a selfie. Why is everyone taking it as a personal attack on little miss perfect?”
My brows jump. “A selfie? The only part of you that was in that photo was your damn ear, so cut the crap. Not to mention, the caption you added sure wasn’t something you would put on a selfie... unless you were trashing yourself? Not to mention, there was a video too.”
“Okay, fine, but still. Lilly has always acted like she was better than everyone else, so what if I enjoyed seeing her fall off her high horse, showing the world she’s no better than the rest of us.”
I take a step forward, nostrils flaring. “Lilly has never acted like she was better than anyone else. She’s kind, caring, and an amazing person to be friends with. But do you want to know what I think? I think she is a better person, someone who is a hell of a lot better than you. How about you gain a little self-respect and stop trying to bring others down because you hate yourself.”
She gapes at me and I finally sidestep her, heading towards Bishop’s Jeep. “Dude.” Bishop chuckles. “That was savage.”
That may end up biting me in the ass, but I don’t care right now. People like Katie will keep pushing until someone pushes back. And the fact that she keeps trying to get me to fuck her is a fucking joke. I would never touch her.
“She needed to hear it,” I reply, tossing my bag into the back seat. Bishop does the same thing and we both get into the car.
“Alright, spill.” He turns to look at me. “You’ve been nothing but a grumpy ass since your family weekend, which I’m hurt you didn’t bring me along for. But I forgive you because I know you needed some Lilly time.”
“I wish I did bring you,” I sigh, my head falling back against the headrest. “Maybe I wouldn’t have fucked up so bad.”
“Oh, come on, it couldn’t have been that bad.”
Bishop and I hardly keep any secrets; we’ve got a friendship similar to mine and Lilly’s. He’s like a brother to me, someone I trust with my life. And normally, I wouldn’t talk about something so personal, especially involving Lilly, but I trust him. I turn my head to look at him. “After the rest of the family went upstairs to bed, we stayed in the movie room to watch another movie. Long story short, she ended up in my lap, I couldn’t help it and kissed her. One thing led to another and well...”
His eyes go comically wide. If it was any other news I was telling him about I’d probably laugh. “Don’t tell me you guys fucked?”
“No, but it was pretty damn close. She rubbed herself against me until we both... you know.”
“Came? Toby, you're a big boy, if you can’t talk about sexual things you shouldn’t be doing them.” He grins.
I glare at him. “Fuck you.”
“Well, from what you're saying, you should be saying fuck Lilly.”
“Dear god.” I sigh, closing my eyes.
