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I climb on and peel out of the parking lot and into the night, mentally berating myself for not being able to stay in a room with him for more than half an hour. “Motherfucker!”
As I pull up at the safe house, my phone blings. No one should be using this number. When I open it, it’s a gif from an unknown number. It's a stork with the words "It's a boy" flashing over it.
Fuck. Skye. I dive back on the bike and head for the clinic. I take all the back roads and alleyways that I know don’t have cameras, and I park two blocks away and run. When I get to the clinic, it's teaming with fucking Reapers. They’re everywhere. I catch a glimpse of Steel, my breath catches in my throat and my heart breaks all over again, even though I know this is for the best. I sneak in through the back and to the staff room, throw on some scrubs and a mask, hide my hair in a hat, grab a trolley, and walk through like I belong. Fake it till you make it.
As I get to the corridor, I can see Ares outside the door and Blade and Priest talking further down. Fuck, how the hell am I supposed to get past them? I need to see her and Tray just once. I know I shouldn’t, but she feels like my responsibility. She feels like my daughter; I know it's weird, and she’s older than me, but I love her like she’s mine.
I push past and into her room. As I walk in, I keep my head down. She’s asleep on the bed, and Tank has Tray in his arms, rocking him backwards and forwards. As I turn, his gaze looks up to meet mine, and I hold my finger to my lips and remove the mask, clicking the lock on the door.
The relief that spreads across his face makes my heart ache as he strides across the room and sweeps me into a hug. “Thank fuck!” he breathes against me.
“Hey, Brother.” I smile at him as I hug him back. “How are they both?”
“Amazing!” He grins at me. “Tray, I want you to meet your favourite aunt.” He hands him to me.
A tear streams down my cheek as I crush his little body to mine. “Tank… he’s fucking perfect!” I hold his little hand, and his finger grips around mine. He has the most perfect little button nose and rosy cheeks, and I know I will die for this boy. He is the reason I’m doing this. Well, he and Skye. Fuck it, and the rest of the fucking cunts, too.
“Are you okay?”
I screw my nose up at him.
“Ray?” he whispers.
I reach out and take his hand. “I’m doing this for them, Tank.” I look at Skye and then Tray. “To keep them safe. If I manage it, then yes. If not, they won’t know I'm not around. They think I’m already dead.”
He laughs. “Skye knows you're not dead!”
“How?”
“She knows you and that you wouldn't choose to leave her!”
I shake my head. “Too smart for her own good, that one!” I rub my thumb across Tray's cheek, and he gurgles at me. “Keep them safe, Brother, keep them close, and cherish every moment. Give her a kiss from me when she wakes up, okay?”
“You can give it to me yourself,” Skye’s raspy voice comes from the bed, and I smile at her.
“Skye, he’s perfect.” I walk over and sit on the bed, pulling her into a hug. “I’m so proud of you. I love you. Don’t ever forget that, okay?” I lean over and kiss her on the forehead and kiss Tray on his. “I have to go!”
“Will I see you again?”
“I don’t know, kiddo, I honestly don’t!”
“Wait. Promise me one thing?”
“For you anything!”
“You’ll try and live and come back to us; you’ll try harder than you ever have before, and when it's all burnt to the ground, you'll come back for me. You won’t leave me.”
“Kiddo! I will burn this world down for you. I promise you that, and if I can make it home, I will. I'm just not sure that's an option.” I shake my head. “I love you. I love you all, and those twats out there. Be safe, okay!”
As I pull the mask back over my face, Tank walks to the door, lifting Tray from my arms. “We’ll be the distraction.” He smiles at me and kisses me as he passes. “Ready?”
I nod, and as he pushes out of the door, I head in the other direction. As I come round the corner away from the guys, my heart breaks, and I'm not watching where I’m going and bump into a solid body with my cart. “Sorry,” I grumble and push past, but as he turns, it's him, my heart, my soul. I push my head down and scurry past.
“Wait!” he rumbles after me, but I keep moving. “Ray?”
Shit, shit, shit. As I round the other corner to the staff room, I abandon the cart and run, pushing through the door. I rip off the scrubs and launch myself out of the window I left open, climbing to the ground and crouching in the shadows. Fuck, it was stupid of me to come here, fucking reckless. My heart’s pounding and thrashing against my chest, and it’s not from running and throwing myself out of a two-storey building. No, it's from seeing him, hearing him, smelling him. He’s all-encompassing, and those eyes… I can’t bear to see the heartbreak I left in them.
Steel
