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I’m standing at the vending machine, trying to breathe. I’m excited for Tank and Skye, truly, I am, but it also makes my heart rip out, knowing that I’ll never have that. Bang. A cart clips me as a nurse in scrubs comes around the corner.
“Sorry,” she grumbles and pushes past, but as I turn, it's her. I know it is. I can smell her. I can almost taste her, my heart, my soul. She pushes her head down and scurries past.
“Wait!” I rumble after her, but she keeps moving. “Ray?”
She rounds the corner, and I take off after her. As I come round the corner, I collide with the cart she was pushing, forcing my way past it. The staff room door is swinging, and as I push in, the scrubs are thrown on the floor, and the window is open. I run to it, screaming out into the night, “Ray!”
There’s no one, not a soul around, and my heart breaks again. It was her. I know it was. I lean back inside and pick up the scrubs, smelling them, and I slide down the wall. It was her. I can smell her on them. I would recognise her smell anywhere. She now smells like hope. As I push off the floor, I stalk back to Skye’s room.
Pushing through the door, I say, “She was here, wasn't she? It was her. She’s alive.”
Skye looks away, but no answer is as good as an answer, in my opinion.
“Is she okay?”
Skye looks at me, then away again. Fuck… that means no.
I turn to walk away. I have to find her. I need to. I feel so empty without her, so lost. I’m not whole when she’s not with me.
“Steel,” Skye’s small voice shakes as I turn to make eye contact.
“You need to let her go!”
“Skye… I can't breathe without her.”
“You need to learn to, Steel. She… she needs to be alone. She’ll come back if she can.”
“You believe that?”
“She loves us all, she said, and whatever's happening, she’s keeping us safe. You need to stop looking.”
“Who's keeping her safe?”
Skye just shakes her head.
“Exactly, I need to find her, to help her.” I turn to exit the room again.
“Steel!”
I turn, part in shock. I've never heard Skye raise her voice, and the authority that drips from her tone is all Ray’s influence. A slight smile spreads to the corner of my lips as I school my features and turn again. “Will you do as you’re told for fucking once? I’ve just had a baby, I can’t kick your ass to make you listen, but I would if I could right now. For Tray’s sake, you need to leave this alone.”
“What's Tray got to do with me going after Ray?”
“She told me she’s staying away to keep us safe so that whoever she’s going after won’t come after us. That's why she’s burnt all her bridges. You need to stop. You need to think of the bigger picture. Please, let this go.”
“I can't, Skye. If it was Tank or Tray, what would you do?”
She looks away again.
“I'm sorry, Skye.” I turn and leave to chase my heart to the end of the world and back if I have to.
As I walk into the waiting room, where all the scary bikers are cooing over baby Tray and passing him round for cuddles, everyone turns to look at me, I’m still gripping the scrubs tight in my fist.
“Congratulations, Tank, he's beautiful!” I clap him on the shoulder, and he sees the scrubs, and a look flashes across his face before he replies.
“Thanks, Brother.”
“I'm heading back to the clubhouse.” I shake the scrubs, and he grimaces. “I have work to do.”
