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“Hum… Meeka said you need help studying for finals?” he explains in an uncertain tone.
I will cut a bitch!
“Nope. All good.”
I give him a tight-lipped smile, not about to get trapped in one of Meeka’s crazy plans.
Adam hovers by the door for a few more seconds before shrugging his broad shoulders.
“OK, I’ll leave you to it, then. Good night.”
He lingers for a beat.
“Thanks.” This time, I try infusing some modicum of warmth into my voice. It’s not his fault if my bestie is plotting to push us into each other’s arms.
Adam gifts me a small grin that squeezes my heart, then walks out. Once more, the door closes, and I fall back on the mattress. This time, my thoughts are not filled with sleepiness or lack of motivation for my schoolwork, but with the familiar tug of longing. I’ve got to shake off my feelings for this guy. Adam is not interested. I’m twenty-years-old, dammit. I’m ready to meet someone, start a relationship. There’s no way that will happen for as long as I’m hung up on some childhood crush.
***
Adam
What a fucking idiot! For God’s sake, when will I learn to talk to this girl? It’s not like I didn’t know Meeka was full of shit. She pushes us into each other’s arms every chance she gets. And I know Maya is a great student. She didn’t need my help for shit.
Reading the irritation in her eyes… I shake my head. I’m losing her and I only have myself to blame. I can’t help but notice how other guys on campus look at her, some even bold enough to approach my Maya. One day, some motherfucker will get in there, and then what? I no claim to Maya.
For years, I’ve been fighting to outgrow my timidity around her, but it’s like I’m stuck. I can’t look at her, listen to her voice, or hear her laughter without getting hard. I avoid her because I don’t know how to talk to her. And I’m not even sure she wants me around. The more obsessed with Maya I am, the more I feel the urge to run in the other direction. What the fuck is wrong with me?!
Deep down, I know we’re not ready to be together. At least, I’m not yet the man Maya deserves. I want to be everything she needs. I want to take care of her in all ways… I just hope that when I’m ready, it won’t be too late…
Three
Now
Maya
“I know we haven’t seen each other much lately,” I tell Michael, the man I’ve been going out with for a few months now. “I’m trying, but have a lot of work. It’s not like I can see a patient on the other side of town, then come meet you for a drink after. Just give me till the weekend.”
I feel bad having to decline another one of his invitations. Especially since I know Michael’s busy too, but still makes seeing me a priority on his schedule.
“Okay,” he grumbles in a disappointed tone.
I picture his handsome face marred by a frown. Mouth pinched, brows furrowed.
“Thank you for understanding. I have to go now. I’ll see you in a few days.”
I bid Michael goodbye and hang up, shaking my head.
He’s a great guy. Nice, good looking, a successful lawyer… Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have Michael. And I know he’s serious about us, but I’m just not sure I’m there yet. We met at a friend’s dinner party and hit it off. We were seated next to each other and chatted the whole evening. A few days after the dinner, I was surprised when my girlfriend, our hostess, told me Michael asked for my number. I honestly had more of a friendship vibe from our encounter, but I wasn’t about to turn down a good-looking, successful single man. As a twenty—eight-year-old overworked GP, living in Charleston, my opportunities to meet potential life partners are limited. And Michael is great… on paper. I’m just not sure we fit. The more time we spend together, the more I question the depth of our connection.
I rub my forehead, shaking off my grim thoughts, and take a sip of the to-go coffee I’m holding.
As I’m about to cross the street outside of the small cafe I just stepped out of, a deep masculine voice calls from behind me, “Maya? Maya Jones?”
I turn around and come face to face with my long-lost childhood crush, Adam Barrett. We must be wearing mirroring expressions of incredulity, stunned to find ourselves in the same place after years of not seeing each other. I giggle, my seven-year-old-self coming out to play at the sight of her favorite person in the world. Hearing the silly sound I just made, I know I need to rein it in before boy-crazy high-school-Maya takes over.
Clearing my throat, I use my best grown-up conversational voice, “Adam Barrett. It’s nice to see you.”
“Same here,” he answers, watching me with rapt attention. There’s a definite glint of interest in his dark brown gaze…
