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I don’t bother with a pleasantry.
I bail on the group and chase her down.
She’s already in the hallway by the time I catch up.
“Cassia!” I call. “Cassia, stop!”
She does. Whirls on me with an expression that chills my blood.
“What thefuck, Holden?”
She’s speaking at a normal volume, but I flinch like she’s shouting.
“I…”
She’s looking at me, waiting for an explanation, and I feel about two inches tall. Wish, more than anything, that I could tell her I have no clue what that girl was talking about and that I’ve never seen her before in my life.
Wish I wasn’t having to ask her forgivenessagain.
“Nothing happened,” I blurt.
That seems like the most important detail to convey. It sounds bad, and it probably looked even worse—at least Bailey didn’t mention she was naked—but it’s true.
“I can’t believe this.” Cassia scoffs, shakes her head, and then turns away.
I grab her arm as a reflex, holding her in place.
“I swear. I can explain—”
She steps away. “Unless you want this to be the last time you touch me,let go of me. And unless you want this to be our last conversation,stop talking.”
“I just want to make sure that you know—”
She steps closer, so I can hear the anger in her voice perfectly over the loud music playing. “What I know is that you weren’t in Pembrooke last weekend. You lied about that.Nothing happened? How do I know you’re not lying about that too?”
“Because Iwouldn’t, Cassia! You know me, better than anyone. After everything we’ve been through, you really think I cheated on you?”
“I don’t know what to think, Holden! She said you were in her bed. And you didn’t deny it.”
I swallow, because I can’t. Not then, not now. “But I didn’t touch her. I—”
“You were drunk, right?”
I hear the implication loud and clear. She has every right to be pissed at me. But some anger sneaks into my voice too.
“Yeah, I was wasted. But there’s not enough alcohol in the world to make me fuck someone else.”
She shakes her head. “You’ve told me so many lies I don’t know what the truth is anymore.”
Cassia yanks her arm away and stalks down the hallway into the kitchen. I don’t chase her this time. I lean back against the wall, sucking in deep breaths. The window next to me is open, but I feel like all the oxygen around me is burning away.
“Holden? What the hell is going on?” Finn appears next to me, his usual grin replaced by concern.
My jaw tightens like a taut rope. I force it to relax so I can say, “I fucked up. Again.”
I want to drink until I feel numb.
I want to punch something until all I can feel is the pain.
