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But I don’t move. Don’t do either of those things, because I’m trying to grow the fuck up.
And if I lose her, I’m not sure there’s enough alcohol or agony in the world for me to ever feel okay.
* * *
I last about five minutes before I go looking for Cassia. Even if she can’t talk to me—won’t look at me—I need to be near her. I search the backyard and the living room before ending up in the kitchen.
It’s most crowded in here since it’s where the drinks are located. I find a spot by the fridge and scan around, looking for a dark head of hair.
“Can you pass me the vodka?” someone asks.
I glance over, register it’s Bailey beside me, then reach over and push the glass bottle on the counter even farther away.
“Guess not.” She rolls her eyes.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I snap. “I told you I have a girlfriend!”
Bailey shrugs. “She deserved to know.”
“Knowwhat? You said nothing happened.”
She taps her chin with a pink fingernail. “Did I say that? I don’t know. I was pretty drunk too.”
I shake my head. “Even if I was the kind of asshole who cheated on his girlfriend, I know nothing happened. You’re not my type.”
She smirks. “What? You’re not into blondes?”
“I’m not into girls who stir up drama because they’re bored and lonely.”
“Please. I can get any guy I want.”
“Looks like you’re all alone to me, Bailey.”
Her smile turns pleased. “You asked around for my name, huh?”
“No. The guy youcheated onmentioned it to me. You screwed up your own relationship, so now you’re trying to fuck around with other people’s? Get a life.”
Bailey’s smile fades slowly as she attempts to keep her composure. She looks away, hopefully regretting approaching me. “Whatever.”
“Notwhatever. You want to party here? Fine. But stay the fuck away from me.”
“Sure.” She smirks. “You weren’t that great in bed anyway.”
I force my expression to remain neutral, because I’m certain a reaction is exactly what she wants.
She says nothing else as I walk away. Maybe some of what I said sunk in. Probably not. I have other priorities right now.
There’s no sign of Cassia in the kitchen, so I head into the hallway. I pull out my phone and try calling her. It goes to voicemail.
Then I spot her roommate by the front door and beeline for her.
“Nova! Have you seen Cassia?”
“Ten minutes ago, maybe? I think she went upstairs.”
Heart racing, I head for the stairs. Basically sprint up them, knocking into several people.
The first door is locked. Same with the second. I continue down the hallway, deciding to try them all before I make more of a scene.
