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Itisnone of his business, but he didn’t tell me that once when I was the one asking the questions.
And…I like that he cares. Enough not only to ask, but to push for an actual answer.
“Nothing, really. I kissed a guy, and it was bad.” I suppress a shudder, recalling the soft lapping. He was way drunker than I was. “I told him I had to use the bathroom but actually snuck out the back door.”
Aidan leans back, one corner of his mouth curling upward as he drapes an arm over the back of the chair next to him. He looks…amused. “Sounds like you didn’t try very hard tohave fun.”
“What do you consider trying hard?” I snap. “Should I have kissed every guy there?”
He lifts one eyebrow. “You’re asking me how to have fun?”
“Guess so. I’ve heard you’re good at it.”
Aidan stares at me.
I stare back.
This silent moment seems important, somehow.
His fingers tap against the back of the chair as we continue studying each other, instead of anything related to Stats.
“I think that a girl who talks about her pussy as part of first introductions isn’t looking for a drunk fumbling at a party. I think that a girl who wanders around the woods with a condom while she’s trespassing wants something less predictable. I think that you were in a boring relationship with an asshole who didn’t appreciate what he had. I think you’re desperate for fun but don’t know what you’ll actually enjoy.” Aidan shrugs, his heated gaze a total contrast to his casual posture. “But maybe I’m wrong.”
He’s not.
We continue looking at each other across the table, neither of us breaking eye contact. It feels a lot like when I first saw him in that hot tub.
What happens next is up to me.
None of the anxiety or uncertainty I experienced at the prospect of hooking up with the guy on Saturday night appears as I hold his gaze.
He’s giving me an excuse to take what I want under the guise of preserving my pride. To show him I’m capable of being that girl he described. Of having fun and using him to do it, just like he told me to in the hallway at Gaffney’s.
I’ve kissed two guys since Aidan, and neither experience was very enjoyable.
Even if it’s half as good as it was in the hot tub, it’ll be an improvement on anything else I’ve experienced.
We’re on the fifth floor of the library, which most students don’t bother to come up to. I haven’t seen anyone else since we sat down.
I push my chair back to stand, part of me disbelieving I’m actually doing this—after promising myself it was a onetime thing—and the rest of me overwhelmed by excitement.
This is a bad idea.
I know it, passing ten aisles before turning down one.
He’s a hockey player. The guy I’m tutoring. Experienced and noncommittal.
Not my type at all, and yet I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. Maybe this will shove him out of my head.
At the very least, I’ll have another memory to recall the next time I worry I’ve wasted all of college being responsible and cautious.
I lean back against a shelf, watching him approach me. My entire body is tingling with a combination of anticipation and nerves.
There’s no triumph on his face, but there is some surprise.
And that’s a thrill—knowing thatIsurprised him. That I’m showing him Alice was a different name, not a different person.
Aidan’s green eyes are bright, his lips tilted up into a devilish smirk as he stops and leans back against the shelf of books opposite me. Relaxed but ready.
