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“All right. I’ll work on getting those papers put back where they belong. If you want to just focus on cooking supper and getting ready for tomorrow, that’s fine. I’ll... I’ll be moving into the little house with you.”
She wanted to get offended that he hadn’t asked if it was okay, but it made sense. If it was a real marriage, an actual marriage, they should probably live together.
A little slice of panic went through her as she turned and walked toward the door. She didn’t know how to be married. She didn’t know how to be a wife. She had no clue on what she needed to do. How to make this last. How to...make him happy. Was that even her job?
She stopped, just before she opened the door, and turned back around. He still stood behind the desk, his hands planted on either side of it, his head hanging down, almost as though he felt defeated.
She hated that the idea of marrying her made him look so...beaten down. She should tell him that she changed her mind. That she wasn’t going to go through with it. That he was free. If she were a better person, maybe she would.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly instead. Maybe she could work her way up to being a better person.
His head lifted, and his face looked every bit as determined as it had before. “Yes.”
“Is there... Is there someone I can talk to? I... This might sound funny, but I’m not sure how to be a wife, and...I feel like you deserve a good one.”
That time, both corners of his mouth turned up, and she would definitely term his expression a smile.
“Yeah. I think there are some ladies who might come over...even this evening if you want them to.”
“I don’t need them that fast, although...I guess the sooner I get started, the sooner I can work on getting better.”
“I’m sure you’re going to be fine. This isn’t something you have to get worried about.”
“You don’t understand. I don’t have anything to bring to you; you’re giving me everything, a home, a chance at a new life, a place to work, a dad for my kids, and I... I don’t have anything to give in return.” She didn’t have to go into all the details about the life she led before and how she was bringing more baggage than anything else into this marriage. She didn’t want to be a taker. She didn’tnecessarily want to be a giver, although maybe that should be her goal, but she wanted their relationship to be more equal. Not with him doing all the giving and her doing all the taking.
“I’m sure things will even out over the years. That’s what a relationship is. Give-and-take, and it’s not always equal or even. It’s just that we both do whatever we need to in order to keep our marriage together. Strong.”
“I don’t really have any examples of a strong marriage.”
“My parents had a strong marriage.” His voice sounded a little far away, like he was thinking about days past. Better days. Happier days. Days with people he loved.
Would he ever think about the days they had like that?
She hoped so. She hoped that even though she didn’t really think it was her job to make him happy, she hoped that between the two of them they could create happy memories.
Then she thought about the farm, and the problems on that, and realized that some of their memories might be really bad to start out with, especially if they lost the farm. Maybe once they were married, she would ask if there was anything she could do in order to help save it. That could be her first contribution to their marriage.
Chapter 6
Was there a right way to break up with someone?
Ezra pushed his hammer, with the claw gripping the wire, with one hand to stretch it, while he pounded his staple in with the other.
He stopped, standing back and looking at his handiwork.
It was easier to fix fence when there were two people, but he wanted to get this up before they brought the herd in to do a herd check and weanings the next day.
Everyone had been scrambling to make sure things were prepared, and despite the chaos of the morning, he wanted to do his part.
Somehow, they needed to do a herd check, and he needed to get ready to be married the next day. And in the meantime, he needed to figure out how to break up with Sondra.
He had hoped that he would be able to run to Rockerton first thing in the morning, but the courthouse probably didn’t open until nine, and by then, they were always knee-deep in whatever ranch work they had for the day.
He hated to just skip out. Even though he would be fine if one of his brothers had something come up and absolutely couldn’t make it. He didn’t figure any of his siblings would care, but it wasn’t the responsible thing to do, and Ezra always did the responsible thing.
Except, getting married after knowing someone for four days was hardly the responsible thing.
Lord?
