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The more he thought about it, the more he thought that he’d been reading about Hosea that morning in his Bible for a reason. It seemed like God was speaking to him, as he knew He often did through His Word.
He put a hand on the fence and looked out over the fields. Cattle dotted the green grass with black spots as the rays of the sun cast long shadows and daylight faded.
It was a beautiful time of day, one of his favorites. Probably his absolute favorite, after sunrise. There was nothing he liked more than to stand outside with a cup of coffee in his hand, watching the sun come up, thinking about the day, meditating on the scripture that he’d read before he even left his room.
He supposed his life would be changing if he had children to take care of. A wife to...protect. At the very least.
Typically, once he made a decision, he didn’t waffle back and forth about it, but this decision was so out of line for him, so out of the ordinary for anything that normal people did, that he couldn’t help but wonder if it maybe wasn’t a rash one. And one that he would repent in leisure over.
“Hey, Ezra.”
He turned, seeing his sister Priscilla walking toward him. She carried a tumbler, which he was sure had cold water in it, and he smiled.
“Always happy to see you, especially when you’re bringing me a drink.”
“I see how you are. You need me to be doing something for you in order for you to want to see me.”
He knew she was teasing, and he laughed, but he sobered immediately. “I don’t want to be like that.”
“I wouldn’t tease you about it, if you really were.”
He nodded, but he figured there probably were times where he was more concerned about getting things done and ordering people around than he was about the mental and spiritual health of his siblings.
“Mom and Dad were always really good about that. They made us work, and they made us work hard, but they always took time to make sure that we were okay. Not physically, but...that our hearts were right.”
“And you do that too.”
“But not as good as they did.”
“We have a tendency to remember people, especially people who passed away, with rose-colored glasses. We forget the bad, and we just remember the good. Which I think is good, but you’re holding yourself up to an impossible standard. Mom and Dad were not perfect.”
“I know they weren’t. I just feel like... I’m not doing a good job.”
“You having second thoughts about getting married?”
“Was it that obvious?” He took the tumbler she handed him and drank all the water around the ice and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Thanks.”
“You deserve it. You had quite a day.”
“Yeah. It’s not every day that you have the police descending upon your house and interrogating you.”
“I was thinking it’s not every day that you decide to get married.”
“Now I need to figure out how to tell Sondra. What’s the right way to break up with someone?”
“Probably not by telling them that you’re getting married the next day to someone else.” Priscilla smiled, but there was a bit of sadness in her eyes.
“That’s pretty bad, isn’t it?”
“Yesterday I would have said that you and my ex had absolutely nothing in common. But...that’s a little closer to cheating than makes me comfortable.”
“Ouch.”
“Sorry.”
“No. I would far rather you be honest with me, and help me fix my faults, than ignore them, and pretend they don’t exist.”
“You don’t have very many. And I mean that honestly.”
