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“You’re not. She decided we were getting married and forgot that I probably should consent as well. That’s really all there is to it.”
There might have been a little bit more, but not much.
“How old are you?” That was not the question he wanted to ask, not that it mattered. But the words were out, and he found that he was curious.
“Twenty-five. Does that matter?” She had her lip between her teeth again.
“No.”
“How old are you?” she asked, and the words sounded like she was forcing them to be bold. He smiled a little at the thought.
“Thirty-eight. Is that too old?” He hadn’t meant to ask that last question. He hadn’t even considered that he might be. In his mind, thirty-eight wasn’t nearly as old as he used to think it was, back when he was twenty-five.
She didn’t answer right away, and he waited, realizing that her answer meant more to him than what he expected it to. It wasimportant to him that she think that he would make a good husband. That he wasn’t too old. She was younger than most of his siblings. In fact, just three of his siblings were her age or less.
He hadn’t realized there was such an age gap. When he’d insisted that she marry him, he hadn’t been thinking about anything like that.
“I wasn’t expecting you to be that old. You don’t look it.”
“It’s not too late for you to change your mind.” He really didn’t want to remind her of that, but he felt like he should. After all, he didn’t want her to end up married to him and regret it, decide she didn’t want him, and leave.
“If you’ve changed your mind, you can say so. You don’t have to try to hope that I’ve changed mine.”
“I wasn’t hoping.”
“It sounded like you were,” she said, her eyes skittering over to where the car seat sat on the small table in the kitchen.
“No. I made up my mind, and I’m not going to change it, but I understand if you do. After all, if you have doubts, I’d rather you change it now than after we’re married.”
“I’m not going to change my mind. You’ve offered me something that I wasn’t expecting, and I know it’s better than anything else I could have hoped for. I... I just want to make sure that you don’t regret it.” She pulled one lip back and looked down. “I almost bumbled lunch in a major way. If it hadn’t been for Nelda, I really wouldn’t have had anything ready. So, maybe you should keep that in mind. I’m not trying to talk you out of anything, I’m just letting you know, I...might not be what you’re hoping I am.”
“It’s fine. And I wouldn’t feel any different if you had a big spread on the table or whether the burned chicken was all we came in to. It’s just food. One meal. It doesn’t say anything about a person’s character for a lifetime. In fact, I think how you recover from that says a lot more about your character than messing it up in the first place. Anyone can make a mistake. But it takes someone withcharacter to bounce back from that catastrophe and turn it into something better. You did that today.”
His words made her look up, first in surprise, and then a little smile touched her lips.
She was beautiful when she smiled. The thought went through his head, but he didn’t allow it to come out his mouth. He didn’t want to muddy up their relationship with ideas of beauty and...love. Not the worldly kind anyway. He was marrying her to protect her. Because that was the kind of man he was. Someone who saw someone who needed help, and he would help them however he could, even if it meant committing to them for a lifetime. Her babies needed a father, and Alaska needed a break. Marrying him would solve both of those problems. That was all there was to it. Any kind of emotional entanglement would just complicate things.
“Nelda is going to help me with the kids. I don’t really know how to be a mom,” she said, looking at him underneath her brows.
“Nelda is really good. I should have talked to her before this. I don’t know what her thoughts are, but if she’s willing to help you, you couldn’t have anyone better.”
“But when I asked her about being a good wife, she told me I needed to talk to you.”
He didn’t really understand what she was saying about being a good wife. He supposed there were things that she could do that would irritate him, and they would figure those things out.
“I think we talked about there being a group of ladies that you could talk to. I sent a text to Bernadine, who kind of spearheads things. She said she would drop by or call you. Hasn’t she?”
“No.”
“It’s been less than a day. Let’s give her a little more time before I nudge her again, okay?”
She nodded. “So you don’t want to tell me what you want me to do as your wife?”
He started to turn, thinking the conversation was over, but her words made him stop and just stare at the floor.
“Can you give me a little time to think about it? I... I’m not sure what you’re asking. Sometimes I think that maybe you just have to step into something before you figure out the things that don’t work. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah. I guess. I guess... I want to have a list. I want to know exactly what I have to do in order to, I don’t know, win? Something like that.”
