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“Just be faithful. Just be faithful, and give me grace when I’m not the husband you think I should be.” That seemed to be a new idea for her. Because she tilted her head to the side, and there was a line between her brows.
“Give you grace?”
“Sometimes when you mess up, you need someone to say, it’s okay. And not get mad, and give you the silent treatment for six days, and make you grovel on your hands and knees for a year before forgiveness is extended. Grace is...giving someone something they don’t deserve. Special favor. So, if you had served burnt chicken for lunch, and I had tried to eat it anyway, and I hadn’t gotten upset, and I had thanked you for the meal, and we had gone on as though it hadn’t been a bad thing, I think that would qualify as giving grace.” He grinned. “Maybe you should have done that, just to see if maybe I need to grow in grace. After all, I was pretty hungry when I walked in, and I might’ve been a little short tempered. I think giving grace is just something that we need to practice and get better at. Actually, there might be a lot of things that we need to practice and get better at.”
Unbidden, an idea popped in his mind that he tried to push aside. But it lingered. He hadn’t kissed many women in his life at all. He’d been more focused on making a living and then raising his siblings after his parents had died. Having Sondra as a girlfriend took a lot of pressure off, and he realized that he reached the ripe old age of thirty-eight, and maybe he needed some practice in thephysical side of marriage. He might not be any good. The idea hadn’t really crossed his mind before that, but now that he had someone standing in front of him, asking him how to be a good wife, it made him think that maybe he was going to need to learn how to be a good husband. And not just a good provider.
“I might need grace in a few areas,” he murmured.
She shook her head like she didn’t believe him, and he didn’t want to elaborate. There was plenty of time to find out. Although, in his mind’s eye, he could almost hear his dad saying,some things just come naturally, son. He wondered if that was one of those things.
“Well, I better get back out. I’ll have more time to talk in the evenings, usually. Typically, we don’t spend too much time on dinner.”
“That’s fine. I am... I have lots of things to do anyway.”
“Are you okay?” he asked, not knowing exactly what she might need but figuring that it was his job to try to make sure that her needs were taken care of.
“I’m fine. I’ve got most of your stuff moved over to the house, and I’ll just keep working on that.” She paused. “Have you heard anything from the police?”
“No. I haven’t. But I can call one of my buddies who’s on the force and whom I know a little bit. Do you want me to ask?”
“No.”
“Are you afraid?” He hadn’t really given it too much thought once they started working cows. He considered that morning that they might have visitors, but the thought had slid away without too much concern on his part. But he wasn’t the one who had been traumatized yesterday.
“No. I... I feel like you mean it when you say you’re going to protect me.”
“I mean it as much as I can.”
She nodded. “I guess that’s all I can ask for.”
She hadn’t even really asked for that. He volunteered for it.
It felt like there was something missing. Something he should do. Something that should alleviate the rest of the awkwardness that had fallen between them, but he couldn’t think of what it was, so he just jerked his head, while she looked away, and he strode out of the house. Surely over time, things would feel more natural between them. He hopedso.
Chapter 10
Today was her wedding day.
Alaska stretched and rolled over, looking out the window. The sun was well up in the sky, and she was pretty sure that everyone would have eaten breakfast and be out working for the day.
She managed to talk to Claudia for just a couple minutes the night before and had offered to cook breakfast or lunch or supper or something. She wanted to be able to do something on the farm. Be a help. Claudia had smiled and said that it was no problem, she loved cooking and that Alaska didn’t need to concern herself with it.
Alaska knew that Claudia was just being kind, and she didn’t understand that Alaska needed a job. She’d been hired to be Ezra’s personal assistant, but all the family pitched in with everything. She needed to feel...like she wasn’t just a leech hanging out here, taking from everybody.
That was a terrible way to explain it, but it was how she felt.
Alice had been up twice in the middle of the night, and while Alaska appreciated the fact that she hadn’t had to get up early and cook breakfast for everyone, she still would prefer to have a job.
She felt...a little lost.
“Hello? Is anyone home?” A voice drifted upstairs, and Alaska jumped out of bed.
“I’m here! I’ll be down in a second,” she added, grabbing the clothes that she laid out the night before and putting them on asquickly as she could. A couple of minutes later, she hurried down the steps.
“I’m sorry. I was just lying in bed thinking that there really wasn’t any reason to get up.”
She thought that sounded a little sad and wished she could take it back and rephrase it, but the words were out there.
