AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“And I’ve got the kids. We’ll finish eating, and then I’ll probably take them to my place. It’s not far, just down the road a piece, behind the barn.”
“It didn’t even occur to me to wonder where you lived. There are so many people coming and going, and I haven’t even gotten familiar with all the buildings on the ranch.”
“It’s a big place, that’s for sure.”
Alaska nodded. She would have to take Nelda’s word for it since she hadn’t really seen much at all.
She and Bernadine left shortly after, with her holding the hot casserole dish on her lap in a carrying case.
“It’s not far to Agathe’s,” Bernadine said as she pulled the car down the driveway.
Alaska listened to her, but she looked off to the horizon where there were two four-wheelers moving down what looked like a road heading out toward one of the fields. She thought it was Ezra on the first one, but she couldn’t be sure. It was funny how she wanted to just get a glimpse of him. Like she somehow needed to see him. Or at least had a deep desire to.
“I was so nervous on my wedding day. You seem pretty calm.” Maybe Bernadine was just trying to make conversation, but it made Alaska feel like there was something wrong with her.
“I guess I’ve done some things in my life that I really regret. Looking back, I made a lot of stupid choices. Marrying Ezra doesn’t seem like it is even close to fitting in the category of any of my other dumb ideas.”
“You two seem so very different. But sometimes people who are different are compatible. The thing is, you just have to learn to share some common interests and maybe even learn to know each other a little.” She paused for a moment. “I don’t know Ezra that well, but he seems like he might be a hard man to get to know. And you have to remember that you can’t change him. He might not want to get to know you, he might not be interested, and he might not be interested in doing things that you enjoy. If you’re getting married to him, you can’t depend on equal sharing of fifty-fifty or a hundred or whatever you hear counselors say. If you want tomake sure that your marriage lasts, you have to put everything you can into it and not worry about what he does.”
“That doesn’t seem very fair,” Alaska pointed out.
“I don’t think you see anything about things being fair in the Bible. God is the righteous judge. And then He gives us commands, and He wants us to follow them and let Him worry about what’s fair and what’s not fair.” She put a turn signal on and pulled into a driveway. “Sometimes we just have to have faith that everything’s going to work out, and when we get to heaven, we’ll see all of the unfairness washed away, and things will seem right to us. I don’t know how else to explain it. But if you’re looking for a marriage that’s entirely fair, I don’t think you’re going to find one.”
Alaska had been looking for advice on her marriage, but that wasn’t exactly the kind of advice she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear that both of them were responsible for their marriage, and that Ezra had to pull as much weight as she did, and that it wasn’t all going to be on her shoulders.
If she were married to a good man, and she considered that Ezra was most likely a good man, it would not be on her shoulders. But if it weren’t, she understood that Bernadine was saying that if she wanted to keep her vows, she was going to have to be the one to make the effort and not depend on anyone else. The thought was sobering.
“Now, Agathe’s husband Jim sometimes knows who people are, and sometimes he doesn’t. I’m just warning you.”
“All right,” Alaska said. She hadn’t been around too many people with Alzheimer’s, but she understood that it took their memories. It seemed sad. Especially for Agathe.
They got out of the car, with Alaska being very careful to not spill the casserole. It seemed silly to put all the work into doing a good deed for someone and then mess it up just steps from her house.
It was a cute little bungalow, with light blue siding, and a little walk that would probably have flowers beside it if it were later in the season, or maybe if Agathe had more time on her hands.
There were neighbors on each side, although there was a nice-sized yard, and the house was set back from the road just a little.
It looked like a quaint and friendly place to live. So suburban and middle class that it made Alaska’s heart hurt. This was the kind of house that she had always looked at from the outside but had never set foot in. Now all of a sudden, with Ezra’s protection, she was doing things she never thought she would.
It didn’t really occur to her to look around and make sure that she was safe. But as she stepped up the sidewalk, she suddenly wondered if perhaps her presence here would be endangering the people in this house. She hadn’t considered that at all. Being on the ranch wasn’t something she worried about. Ezra said they would protect her, and it was less about her bringing people on them and more about him watching out for her. Although Ezra had not said that she shouldn’t leave the ranch, now she wondered if maybe she shouldn’t have.
And on the heels of that thought came another one. She left her children there alone.
Nelda was in great physical shape, but she was still a senior citizen and too sweet and kind to think ill of anyone. If someone came to take her children, Alaska wouldn’t want Nelda to get hurt any more than she wanted her children to suffer.
The thought scared her enough that Bernadine looked at her after she knocked on the door. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine.”
“Your face is kind of white, and you went real silent there.”
“I guess I’m not used to visiting people. This isn’t something I normally do.”
“Don’t worry. We’re not going to stay long. Agathe has her hands full, and you have a wedding.” Bernadine smiled like it was exciting.
Alaska supposed she was looking forward to getting married, but more because it would solve some problems for her than because of the typical reasons a bride might look forward to her wedding.
Although, spending the rest of her life with Ezra did not present a hardship in her eyes.
