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He wasn’t sure what he read on Asher’s face, but he thought that maybe his first instinct, the one that said that Asher had a crush on Sondra he’d been hiding, seemed even more probable.
“We’ll be at my cabin in Montana,” Asher said, and to Ezra’s surprise that made Sondra stop.
Ezra glanced at Sondra, and then back at his brother. “How long?”
“I guess as long as it takes for her to teach me what I need to know,” he said, one side of his mouth going up.
He supposed Asher just wanted him to know that Sondra would be out of the picture. Even though they needed Asher’s help on the farm, Ezra understood that Asher was trying to help.
“You have a cabin in Montana?” Sondra asked, her eyes going wide. “Why that’s just like the TV show, Cabin in the Mountain. Have you seen it?”
Asher huffed out a laugh, and shook his head no, his eyes on Sondra. And there was something in them, something... Something Ezra knew had never been inhiseyes when he looked at Sondra. Admiration.
He wasn’t sure what Asher found to admire, but the idea that he did, that Sondra would be okay, made the tight knot that had been in his chest since he’d seen her car pulling in the driveway loosen
He made a mess of everything. He always seemed to do that, but it looked like maybe the Lord was working things out.
Now, all he had to do was go and let Alaska know that it was time for them to get married. With Sondra out of the picture, Alaska would be fine, and everything would be just the way it was.
Chapter 14
Ezra stepped in the house, not feeling very good about himself.
Anyone who looked at him, would think that he had his life together. He knew he gave that impression, but he felt like he’d really messed things up. At least personally. Sure, the ranch was struggling, but that was life. A person didn’t expect to step into adulthood and become a success the first time they did something. They expected to work and strive and see success and failure throughout their lifetime.
But personally... He was almost forty. He should have something together by now, but he didn’t. It didn’t feel like he was even close to having things figured out, even though he was supposed to get married today.
“Alaska?” he called, when he didn’t see her in the living room, nor the study. He thought about going upstairs, but figured that she probably wouldn’t be there. She’d been up to get his things out of his room the day before, but there was nothing for her up there.
He tried to think of where she would be, and the little house next door was the only place he could come up with. There really wasn’t any place for her anywhere. She hadn’t been on the ranch long enough to have a place of her own. A place where she loved, one that she sought out in her private moments.
For him, there was a little grove of cottonwood trees about a mile from the barn. It was right beside the creek, and while the creek was quiet and kind of meandering and slow, it still gave him a sense of peace to see it flow and just feel the breeze, watch the leaves rustle along with the grass, and sit by the water.
Suddenly, he wanted to take Alaska to his spot. To show it to her.
That was really getting the cart ahead of the horse. He needed to figure out how to develop a relationship with her, and...that was going to take time. He was going to have to make time, along with all the other things that he needed to do.
He didn’t know how.
He walked through the back door, and to his surprise, Alaska sat on the steps, her feet pulled up tight against her chest, and her arms wrapped around them.
Lord, please don’t let her be crying.
He didn’t know what he was going to do if she was. He was so far out of his league with all of this, he wished he’d just kept his mouth shut, and tried to figure out another way to protect her.
It wasn’t too late. They could decide not to get married. But there was a part of him that rebelled against that.
“Alaska?” He spoke softly, not wanting to startle her, but she must have figured out it was him when she heard the door opening, because she didn’t startle, or even turn around.
“Are you not talking to me?” he asked, unsure.
“Should I be?” she asked, and her voice sounded fatalistic.
“I’d like it if you were. We can’t really work anything out if one of us isn’t speaking to the other.”
“Well, considering that we had all of one conversation in our entire relationship, I suppose talking might be a good start.” She took a breath. He could see her back rise, and then fall as she blew it out. “Maybe we shouldn’t get married.”
It sounded like she didn’t want to say it, or maybe that was just him hoping.
