AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘Nearly!’ Brooke called from the kitchen doorway and turned to check that all the plugs were turned off.
‘Come on then, slowcoach! I want to see my friends.’
‘Coming!’ Brooke hurried to the hallway, wrapping her scarf around her neck. Allegra opened the door and stepped outside, and Brooke followed her, shivering as the cold air met the exposed skin of her face. She pulled the scarf up higher, so it covered her chin and huddled into her coat.
‘I’m glad that you’re excited about seeing your friends,’ Brooke said.
‘I like them all so much. I’m so happy we moved here because it’s a nice place.’
‘That’s good to know,’ Brooke replied.
Allegra took her hand, and they crossed the green and headed toward the school.
Allegra's happiness in the village pleased Brooke. It would have been so much harder if she were struggling too.
This morning, Brooke actually felt a tiny bit better in herself. She’d slept well and had at least five hours without waking upwith a thundering heart and tears on her cheeks. Sleep was important to healing, but she’d been battling insomnia ever since she lost Aidan. Her grief for him encompassed missing his muscular body in bed, his legs warming her cold feet, and his regular breathing comforting her during the long nights. But part of it was the fear that seemed to grip her in the lonely hours between one and four, the fear that if anything happened to her, then Allegra would be all alone. That fear made her stomach churn, her palms clammy and her heart ache. She couldn’t let her beautiful child end up alone — not ever. She needed to be around to care for Allegra, to help her grow into an adult with hopes and dreams of her own. But if something were to happen to Brooke the way it had happened to Aidan, then Allegra would have no one. She doubted very much that her parents would return from their home in Florida, where they’d lived since Brooke was in her early twenties, to care for their only grandchild. They were both too self-involved to care. Allegra was lucky to get a birthday phone call from them, let alone love and time. Brooke had no faith that they’d show up for their granddaughter should anything happen to her mother. Aidan's parents had both died when Allegra was a toddler, so there were no other blood relatives to help.
‘Mummy!’ Allegra stopped and pulled her hand away from Brooke’s. ‘You’re holding me too tight and it’s crushing my fingers.’
‘Sorry!’ Brooke took a deep breath and shook out her hands. ‘I was cold and it made me hold on tight.’
Allegra nodded, then held out her hand again and Brooke took it, careful not to grip her too firmly. ‘That OK?’
‘That’s fine, Mummy.’ Allegra nodded.
They reached the school and Brooke was about to go into the yard with her daughter, but Allegra held up a hand. ‘It’s OK, Mummy, I’ve got it from here.’
‘All right then. Have a good day.’ Brooke gave her daughter a hug then watched as she ran across the playground to a group of friends, her small rucksack containing her packed lunch and her schoolwork bouncing against her back. They all greeted Allegra with hugs and two of them took hold of her hands as if they couldn’t bear not to be connected to her.
Allegra was growing up so quickly and already showing signs of independence. Brooke knew this was positive, but it made her realise exactly how quickly Allegra’s childhood would pass. And then Brooke would be alone…
She shook herself, turned and left the school behind, heading for the shops because she didn’t want to return to The Pottery Shack empty handed after Clover’s kindness yesterday. It was that same kindness that had led Brooke to cry like her heart was shattered — which it was — and releasing all that pain had been an enormous relief. It was, she knew, why she had slept better. Of course, the pain hadn’t gone away, but it was like a thunderstorm on a hot, humid day. The storm offered some relief from the humidity, cracked it open and freed it, and even though it didn’t always disperse the tension in the air fully, it helped. And that was how Brooke felt today. She was still broken-hearted, still grieving, but she’d released some of her grief and that was a tremendous relief. It had done her good, as much as she hated crying, especially in public, especially in front of strangers.
Brooke passed a shop calledDragonfly Dreamsand gazed into the window. The clothes and shoes on display were clearly vintage, and the shop looked like an interesting establishment. She’d go there one day in the not-too-distant future and have a look around. But for now, she wanted to buy biscuits and flowers.
She bought a bouquet of daffodils, a tin of luxury chocolate biscuits, and some mints at the grocery shop. After she’d paidfor them, she went back outside into the chilly morning. January was a difficult month at the best of times, coming on the heels of the festivities as it did, but this year it was worse because she had no husband to snuggle up with, no one to plan her future with. Christmas had been a blur as she’d made an effort for Allegra when all she’d wanted to do was to hide under the duvet and cry. Somehow, she’d made it through, but it had been difficult.
After being with Aidan since they were teenagers, it was so hard being alone again. She wasn’t used to thinking of herself as single, as a person who didn’t have a partner to lean on, to rely on and to love. What happened to all that love when you lost someone? Hers still felt like it was deep inside her chest, heavy as lead, stuck there because the person it belonged to was gone.
‘Here I go again,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘Come on, Brooke! Remember that Aidan wouldn’t want you to be so sad now, would he?’
She knew he wouldn’t. Aidan had been a force of nature, strong, brave, filled with energy. He was always keen to find the next adventure, the next way to test himself, and that, sadly, was why he’d decided he wanted a motorbike and had refused to be swayed by her pleas. It hadn’t been that she hadn’t wanted him to live the full life he so desired, just that she’d wanted him not to die so young.
Brooke soon reached the woodland and followed the path that led her to The Pottery Shack. When she saw the small wooden construction, her heart lifted a fraction because here, she knew, was a friend. A woman who had lived a lot longer than her and who had shown her so much kindness yesterday. Not being close to her own mother or knowing her grandparents, Brooke had often yearned for a close relationship with an older woman. It was something she felt she had missed out on and something she was keen to explore. Life brought wisdom and experience the longer you lived, undoubtedly, and she suspectedClover had plenty of wisdom to impart. Besides which, Brooke had no friends in Wisteria Hollow and Clover was the first person there that Brooke had spoken to at any length. Hopefully, a friendship with Clover could be the start of Brooke becoming involved in village life, although right now the thought of trying to get to know more than one person filled her with a sense of anxiety. She still didn’t feel quite ready to explore that.
Pushing back her shoulders and raising her chin, she walked up to the shop door and opened it. She felt like this was the first in a series of steps that would carry her to her future, to a life very different from the one she’d once thought she’d have, but a life that was there to be lived.
Chapter 11
Clover
When Clover saw Brooke entering the shop, she smiled in welcome and went to greet the younger woman. She’d hoped Brooke would return today but worried that perhaps Brooke would feel embarrassed for becoming emotional the previous day and therefore not want to come back. But here she was, wrapped up in coat, scarf and hat, but also wearing a smile that suggested she was happy to be there.
‘Hello, darling! Come on in,’ Clover said. ‘So good to see you again.’
Brooke closed the door behind her, shutting out the cold air, and pulled her hat off her head. Her wavy brown hair stood up like she’d been shocked, and Clover laughed.
‘Your hair has gone static.’
