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“But how would I pay for it?”
“You could get financial aid. I could help you with the applications. I could also help you find classes or help you figure out what interests you. Whatever you need.”
“You don’t have to do all that to make up for not adopting me. I’m not mad at you for that.”
“That’s not why I’m doing this. And I’m not trying to pressure you in any way. I’m just offering to help. You’re a smart young woman and you shouldn’t be denied opportunities just because you don’t have anyone to help you.”
“Thanks, but I don’t need help. I can figure it out.”
She nods, seeming disappointed that I didn’t accept her offer. Maybe I will, but not now. Taking classes is the last thing on my mind. All I care about right now is finding a job and a place to live.
“Nova, if you want to ask me about what I told you last night, you can. You can ask me anything you’d like.”
I wasn’t going to ask her anything, but now that she brought it up, I feel like I should.
“When did you know you wanted to adopt me?”
“I knew the moment I heard about your father. I assumed he’d abandoned you when the police went to his apartment and found it was empty. My heart broke for you. I wanted to drive back there that night and get you. But unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Some time had to pass before your father lost his parental rights, before the adoption process could even start.”
“But you barely knew me. You’d only met me one time. Why would you want me?”
She smiles. “Because you were a sweet little girl who needed someone to love you. When I met you in that store, I felt a connection to you. I’m not sure why. When I found out you needed a home, I felt like it was a sign that I was meant to have you. It was such a random thing, finding you in that store and then finding out you needed a home when I was desperate to have a child.”
“How hard did you fight for me? With your husband?”
She looks down. “We almost got divorced over it. Stephen only wanted one child, so he wanted that child to be perfect. When he found out about your mother, he wouldn’t even consider taking you. He knew how attached I’d become to you, but that didn’t matter. He wasn’t taking a child if there was a risk that something might be wrong with them. I was so angry I almost left him. I only stayed because he agreed to take Easton.”
“Why?” Easton says.
We look back and see Easton coming into the kitchen.
“Why was Dad okay taking me and not Nova? My parents were just as screwed up as hers.”
His mom turns to him. “There was nothing wrong with your parents. Their issues were about money, and not having enough. They shoplifted and stole from people, which landed them in jail, but your father blamed that on poor parenting and a lack of education, not something that could be passed down to you. He knew you wouldn’t turn out that way if we gave you a good home and a good education.”
Easton comes over to the table and sits next to me. “Why did you change my name? Why couldn’t I be Sean?”
“Your father liked Easton better. It sounded better with Voss.”
“That’s it? You just liked how it sounded? You know that messed me up, right? I had to deal with enough changes and then you go and change my name? I wanted to keep my old name, my entire name, but at the very least my first name.”
She gets up, taking the juice container and bringing it to the fridge.
“Mom?”
“Easton, are you sure you don’t want me to make you something?”
“Mom, what’s going on? What are you not telling me?”
“Nothing.” She grabs a towel and starts wiping down the counter.
Easton goes over to her. “You’re lying.” He takes the towel from her. “What is it? Is it about my name?”
She sighs. “They were never able to prove it. I’m sure it wasn’t even true. It was just an accident.”
“What are you talking about? What was an accident?”
“It doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.”
