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“Why didn’t you text me when you got home? Let me know you were okay?”
“Because I’m not a kid. And I don’t live with you anymore. I don’t need to check in with you every second of the day.”
“I need to know you’re not dead in a ditch somewhere. I barely slept last night, I was so worried.”
“Dean, I’m in college now. You have to stop worrying about me. If something happens, I’ll deal with it on my own. I don’t need you to solve my problems.”
“What problems? What happened? Are you in trouble?”
“No, and stop assuming I am. I’m just saying you need to let me grow up and handle things on my own.”
“I get that, but you don’t always make the best decisions.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You trust people you shouldn’t. You let your heart lead you instead of your head.”
“You’re talking about what happened with Dad?” I say, my anger building. “I was a kid when that happened. You can’t keep bringing that up to use against me.”
“I’m not using it against you. I’m using it to show that you don’t always make good decisions.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Other than the thing with Dad, when have I made a bad decision?”
“What about yesterday?”
“What about it?”
“Going back to the old neighborhood? You really think that was a good decision?”
“Maybe not for you, but it was for me. I liked being back there. It felt like home.”
That’s not completely true. Seeing our old house destroyed, it didn’t feel like home anymore. The entire street felt different. But it felt good being around my friends again, especially Sean and Leo. I missed those guys. I didn’t miss Troy, but unfortunately it’s a package deal. If I want to see Sean and Leo, there’s a good chance Troy will be there.
“Jake, I know you haven’t made any friends at college, but you will. You just need to give it some time.”
“Why can’t you accept that I don’t fit with those people? You saw how hard it was for me to make friends when we moved to Dallas. It’s no different at college. The people here don’t understand me. They don’t understand what I’ve been through. How I grew up.”
“They don’t have to. You can still be friends with them.”
“It’s not the same. Just look at Rob, my roommate. The hardest thing he’s gone through is his parents getting divorced. I get that it was hard for him, but that’s nothing compared to growing up watching your dad beat up your mom. Or having to go days without eating because your mom spent all the money on vodka and cigarettes.”
“Most people didn’t grow up like that, so if you’re saying you can only be friends with people who grew up like us, you’re not going to have many friends.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. But right now, being at this school where I don’t know anyone, it felt good to be around the guys. Going there yesterday, I wasn’t even thinking about Haley.”
“Who’d you see? Besides Sean?”
“Leo and Troy were there too. Leo’s still living at home and Troy’s living with his uncle.”
“Do they have jobs?”
“Kind of. Troy’s working at his uncle’s garage. Sean’s fixing up a car and hoping to sell it when he’s done. Leo’s in between jobs.”
“This is what I’m saying. Those guys may be fun to hang out with, but they’re not doing anything with their lives. Nothing ever changes. They just sit around and complain about shit. Those aren’t good friends to be around.”
“Why do you have to be like this? Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean I can’t. I don’t get to chooseyourfriends. Why do you get to choose mine?”
“That’s not what I’m doing. I just don’t want you becoming like them. I don’t want them telling you college is a waste of time and you dropping out.”
