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She walks up to me and takes it off. I put it on, trying not to look at her standing in front of me naked, but of course I look. I can’t help myself.
“I’m gonna go,” I say, walking past her.
“Jake, wait!”
“Why?” I turn back and see she has her jeans on and is putting on her shirt. “You said you had to leave.”
“Not for an hour.” She races over to me. “Jake, I’m sorry. This isn’t what I want.”
“Then why are you doing it? Why are you going to see him?”
“Because if I don’t, he’ll…” She pauses. “He’ll keep calling until I agree to it.”
“So don’t answer your phone. Block his number.”
“Jake, you said you’d give me time.”
“That doesn’t mean you go fuck him after just being with me!” I turn away from her and head to the door.
“That’s not what I’m doing. I’ll just go there, we’ll have dinner, and I’ll leave.”
I turn back and see her behind me. “Are you serious right now? We’re talking about Troy. All he wants is sex. That’s why he’s telling you to get down there. And when he’s done with you, he’ll go watch TV and act like you’re not even there.” I open the door. “Hey, it’s your life. If that’s what you want, go ahead. Be with him.”
I leave, storming down the hall and down the stairs to the parking lot. It’s cold out, but I’m burning up inside so it feels good. I’m so damn angry. How could she be with him after being with me? After I told her I have feelings for her? She was acting like she had feelings for me too. Was she just pretending to like me so she’d have someone to fill in for when Troy’s not around?
That’s not me. I’m not that guy. If she wants to be with me, it’s me and nobody else. But I guess that’s not what she wants.
I really thought Tara was the girl for me. In the short time she’s been back in my life, I’ve felt closer to her than I felt to Haley after dating her for a year. But I shouldn’t have let myself go there. I knew she was with Troy, and I fell for her anyway. That’s on me. I screwed up. I should’ve left her alone.
15
JAKE
“You want to go to lunch?”Rob asks when I get back from class Tuesday morning. He’s at his desk, closing down his computer.
“I’m not hungry.” I toss my backpack on the floor and collapse on my bed.
“Rough day?”
“You could say that.”
He turns to me. “What happened? You flunk a test?”
“No, but I probably will tomorrow. I have an English test and haven’t studied. I suck at English. Even when I study, I do bad.”
“So this is about a girl,” he says, as if that’s the only other option. “You still upset about your ex?”
“Actually, I haven’t even thought about her.” I look over at Rob. “That’s not normal, is it? I should be thinking about her. Missing her. Hoping she’ll call and want to get back together.”
“I mean, maybe, but everyone’s different. Maybe you’re one of those people who can compartmentalize shit and not think about it again.”
“I’m not. That’s why I don’t get it. Why aren’t I more upset about this?”
“Maybe you didn’t love her.”
“But I did. Or I thought I did.”
“I don’t know what to tell you. If I were you, I’d be happy to be over her this fast. Some guys take weeks, or even months, to get over a girl.”
