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She drags me over to the hair and makeup tent to get refreshed before the next date.
Because the crew need clearance to film on location, most of the dates have been confined to certain areas. Unfortunately, that means it’s easy for tourists and onlookers to keep track of where I am.
I’m already uncomfortable being filmed, let alone people with phones and extra eyes on me.
“You’re a real trooper,” Macey reassures me.
“Really?” I look up from my phone. I think she’s just saying that to make me feel better.
She taps her makeup brush on my nose. “I’ve worked on a few reality shows, and they don’t usually cram so much into the schedule.”
“That’s my fault,” I say. “I wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. I really can’t afford to be away from my company for very long.”
She nods and lets me get back to answering emails.
The last of the dates feel like they move in slow motion. It seems like they saved the most dramatic and pretentious of the girls for last. Lucky me.
They finally call it a wrap on the dates and it’s one of the few times I’ve felt like smiling.
I jump straight onto a work call and walk back to my cabin, ignoring the pleas of Cameron and the producers to discuss plans for the next day. I already know what it entails. They’ve gone over it fifty times.
Big ceremony. Romantic proposal overlooking the beach.
If I never step foot on a public beach after this, it will be too soon.
By the time I’m done with work, it’s nearing three a.m. I’m already dreading the rest of the day.
CHAPTER 8
AARON
Thank God my hotel suite is equipped with a coffee machine because today it will be essential.
I sit in bed and look out at the ocean, watching couples walk hand in hand on the beach. I wonder what that’s like, to be content and happy, to have someone that fits in with your life.
I wonder what it would be like to not have my job be my entire life, to have someone to come home to. It’s not something I ever truly considered. My focus has always been on making sure my mom is okay and never has to lift a finger ever again.
She was dealt a bad hand, and none of it was her fault.
My chest feels heavy thinking about what we went through when I was growing up. Watching my mom work three jobs just to barely scrape by. The second I was legally allowed to, I got after-school jobs to help out, but it never felt like enough. That’s why I continue to work hard and push for success. I can’t go back to that. We can’t ever go back to that.
That’s probably why I don’t think having my own family is worth it. My mom and I are close, and I cherish our relationship, butthe fear of being like my father has always stopped me from wanting a family of my own. At least that’s what my ridiculously expensive therapist told me.
Going through this bizarre process hasn’t instilled me with much confidence in dating either.
I sip my coffee and playI would rather. When I have something I really don’t want to do, I list all the things I would rather be doing.
Things I would rather be doing than proposing to someone I’ve been on one date with:
I would rather go for another helicopter ride.
I would rather sit through a relentless dinner with my aunt Susan. Those always felt like a never-ending marathon.
I would rather eat sushi. I once got food poisoning and I can no longer stomach it.
I would rather be made to go to Coachella. That one speaks for itself.
I can’t believe I have to propose to someone today. I know it doesn’t mean anything, it’s not arealproposal, but still, it should mean something, shouldn’t it?
