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“No, it’s not. It’s well throughout—”
If I wasn’t already pissed as could be, I might throw something at Xander’s head. “Don’t you dare finish that. I’ll get to you in a minute.” I glare daggers at his unfazed expression before turning my anger back on my sister.
“You’re being a fucking drama queen,” Gillian groans.
“No, I’m not! How can you not see how stupid this is? You’re putting yourself in a bad position!”
It’s her turn to sneer at me. “Cut the crap, Laura. It doesn’t matter if I’m in a bad position. I’m already horrifically scarred for the rest of my life and you’re not. Do you really want to turn into me?”
I’m stunned into silence at her words, darkness filling her bright blue eyes until all of the light is sniffed out.
“I’m doing this for you—to protect you. You haven’t been through what I have, and I’m doing everything in my power to make sure you never do. There’s a single defining moment that separates us, sister, and that moment is exactly what I’m trying to keep you from going through. Once it happens, you can’t ever go back to who you used to be and you’re stuck being desensitized to the horrors of the world. You stop crying for the sad puppy commercials on TV. You hear about a man who butchered his wife and three small children, see crime scene photos and you can’t even feel sad because at least they’re not living the life you are, having to deal with nightmares and use drugs to dull the pain you’re unable to escape from. You’ll never be whole again because someone decided your no’s meant yes and you saying fuck off meant anenthusiasticyes. So, yes, little sister, I am putting myself in a bad position. I’m putting myself in a position where if I can’t reach this…” She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small clicker with a single red button on it. “...I could very well be raped again, but in the sea of dozens of time, what does one more really matter if it stops someone who has never gone through it from having to cross that threshold?”
My face must be pale from the things Gillian has said, but the biggest shock is that Xander doesn’t seem at all surprised by what she says, how she describes her trauma, or the aftermath it leaves in its wake.
All I really know is I need a minute to process all of this so I turn on my heels and walk out of the apartment, alone, hurting, and confused.
CHAPTER23
XANDER
It took a lot of talking through things with Laura, but she’s finally come over to our side of thinking. I’m not an idiot. I know Gillian thinks Laura is being ridiculous and I hate being stuck in the middle of this, but Gillian is wrong.
There’s nothing ridiculous about Laura wanting to keep her sister out of harm’s way just like Gillian wants to protect Laura. The difference is Laura doesn’t want to see her twin experience any further trauma and Gillian wants to stop the first trauma from even occurring.
It’s been weeks and Laura will barely speak to me. She’s anxious and freaked out by this whole thing, but I know she’s also holding it against me that I agreed with Gillian on the plan.
As soon as I wake up, I text Ralph to make sure everyone knows I’m not going to work today. Even if she won’t talk to me, my psyche is strained from not having time with her. I work six days a week and most weekends Gillian—who’s masquerading as Laura—and I have meetings and parties to attend.
The whole plan makes me sick to my stomach, but I’ve noticed a major shift in Browning’s approval slowly growing since we started this plan. Gillian is good at pretending to be Laura and pretending that she’s affected by seeing the club girls practically crawling all over me.
Browning needs to see that I’m not too stuck on Laura that I’d put her above the club, but that I'm stuck on her enough that I won’t allow anyone else to touch her. It’s ironic as fuck since just about every other morning he makes a visit to my apartment to fuck the shit out of Gillian, which has been actually working in our favor. He truly believes she’s Laura and everything she says when she has him in bed with her.
So much so that the whispers have gotten back to me that he’s been talking to the others in the top five about his retirement and handing the club over to me. It takes a lot of stress off my shoulders knowing Gillian’s plan is smooth sailing.
I switch off my alarm and wind my arms around Laura as she hugs her pillow under her head. Fuck, she’s so damn beautiful my chest aches just looking at her. I trail soft kisses along her shoulder, hoping to wake her gently, and it works. She squirms at my gentle kisses and soon she’s giggling like a little kid after a tickle war.
“What are you doing?” Her fingers weave in my hair as I nuzzle her throat, missing the sensation of her wrapped up in my arms. It’s different than when we’re sleeping. This is her conscious and touching me of her own accord. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work?”
“Not going,” I grumble as I kiss down the line of her throat all the way to the start of her cleavage. Fuck, I’ve missed the way she tastes. “Someone much more important needs my attention.” I move over her and press my throbbing morning wood against her core.
She lets out a soft moan. “Would that be your dick or my kitty?”
What the fuck? I laugh as I bury my face in her neck.
“What?” she blanches as I pull back, smirking at her innocence.
“Did you just seriously call it your kitty? What are you, thirteen?”
A flush covers her freckle-dusted cheeks as the corner of her lips quirk in a barely noticeable smile. “What else would I call it?”
“Call it what it is, darling. It’s your fucking pussy. Your delicious, tight pussy.”
A ragged breath that could easily be confused for a moan falls from her parted lips as I grind against her, making sure to barely graze her clit. “Could’ve fooled me. I thought it was a vagina.”
“I normally love your sass, but shut up.” I crash my lips against hers and she fucking mewls as her fingers tear at the tie of my sleep pants. She sneaks her hand past the waist band and grips my cock like she’s trying to choke it. “Fuuuck.” At first I thought I was the one seducing her, but maybe she was the one seducing me. It would take no effort on her part if she wanted to.
In a moment, she pushes me on my back, straddling my waist, and frees my cock from the confinements before pushing her panties off to the side, taking me deep into her heat.
