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I break the kiss as I grip her ass and buck into her, taking her body hard and deep. She meets each of my moves with one of equal intensity and, before I know it, we’re both fucking each other and screaming in ecstasy.
If there were ever an occasion to call it make up sex, this is it. We’re like two wild animals chasing the same end, barreling straight for each other until we’re left in a puddle of pure, untainted pleasure, so perfect she doesn’t even care that her sister is in the next room.
* * *
This isthe last place I want to be. Where I’m really needed is back at the apartment with Laura. Sure, she doesn’t actually need me, but I finally made some progress with getting her over this lump of anger about this plan. It’s working and we talked about it for hours as we laid in bed together. Oddly, Gillian didn’t try to bother us when we spent all day in bed together. Usually she is up our ass to get up, but not today. Maybe she had a sixth sense that Laura and I desperately needed some privacy.
This time with Gillian constantly crashing on my couch has been weighing heavily on us. I know Laura loves her sister, but even as a kid I needed time away from my mom and my brother. The only one I never get sick of being around is Laura. Her presence is never a bore. I love that she’s the first thing I see when I wake up and the last person I see before going to sleep. It’s refreshing to have a reason beyond sleep to come back to the apartment. Finally, it doesn’t feel like an empty shell anymore. It feels more like a home than any place I’ve ever lived and I hate that it wouldn’t exist if Browning hadn’t forced Laura into this life.
A question constantly assaults me and it makes me feel more self-conscious than anything ever has.
If given the option, would she still be here with me or would she run for the hills? I don’t know if I can survive this fucked up life without her. She’s the only good thing in my world. Every other good person is tainted with fucked up shit. Not Laura.
Gillian and I step inside of the club house, my arm swung over her shoulder as I scan the crowd. Even more people are drunk and strung out than normal and that’s saying a lot.
It’s Browning’s birthday and, instead of my mother being in his lap or on his arm, the newest girl who was dragged in a week ago, Gwen, who can’t be older than seventeen, is stuck on his lap like a deer in the headlights.
Gillian shrugs off my arm and slowly maneuvers through the crowd until she makes it over to my mom and the other women who are claimed. They look at her with pity, but there’s no reason to feel sorry for her. It’s all an act, but they have no clue. It’s for the best. As it stands, there are only three people who know the truth. Me, Laura, and Gillian.
I move over to the small table that’s just for the top five and whatever girl is chosen to preoccupy our time and I slide into the chair across the round, broken table from my father.
I nearly grimace at the title for him I can’t escape, but I repeat the mantra Gillian gave me to make it through these events.
Harness your inner psychopath. Nothing bothers you. Everything is perfect.
“Gunner, you’re late,” Chucky points out as he hands me a beer bottle.
“Sorry. Women.” I nod toward Gillian and the others laugh, though it’s not funny or a joke in any way.
We shoot the shit and I send a look to Sofia, one of the girls who’s the same age as me, and she walks right over to me. She slides into my lap, puts her arms around my neck, and pulls me into a kiss.
It didn’t use to be the case, but now it makes my skin crawl to touch anyone that isn’t Laura. She’s embedded so far under my skin that this whole thing makes me so uncomfortable I truly understand what Laura has tried to explain to me.
There’s a difference between rape and someone touching you when it’s the last thing you want. This whole thing is a fucking nightmare.
This is the only time I regret this stupid plan. If it wasn’t for this plan, Laura would be the one on my lap, kissing me like she needs me more than her next breath.
Sofia pulls back and gives methatlook, like she wants to ask me back to her room. That sultry look in her eyes is only interrupted by Browning’s laughter. Sofia jumps and I’m glad because the awkward conversation of me turning her down is the last talk I want to have, and I sure as fuck am not stepping out on Laura.
I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I’m smart enough to know that cheating on Laura would be the worst mistake of my fucking life and I doubt she would ever forgive me for such a fuck up. I’m trying to make as few mistakes as possible with her.
“How’s your birthday been so far, old timer?” Pipe teases Browning and he lets him. Very few people get away with such a move.
“Pretty good,” he mutters, his words soured from the constant lines of drinks he’s been chugging down all night. “Since this is the last birthday I’ll have as the Prez of this club—“ he gives me a pointed look before continuing. “—I was hoping to go out with a bang.” I can’t tell if he’s making a joke, like he does a lot when he’s plastered, or if he’s serious. Maybe he means it as a figure of speech. Fuck if I know.
“Whatever you want, boss,” Chucky adds and everyone at the table nods, myself included.
I keep needing to remind myself that I’m playing a part and can’t just say his birthday wishes can go to hell.
“I just want one thing and my birthday will be complete,” he starts and gives me a questioning look. I have no fucking clue what he is trying to ask me, but it looks like permission. What the fuck is he about to request? “I want to seeherin action.” He nods in the direction of the girls chatting close by and my blood runs cold.
He’s not just looking at any girl. He’s looking at Gillian. I finally understand the meaning behind the look he gave me. He wants everyone to watch on asIfuck her.
Everyone can hear his request in the close vicinity and by the way Gillian’s face pales, she knows the meaning behind it, too. It’s completely fucked up and it’s a request I can’t go through with. I just can’t say that.
“I need to take a piss,” I grumble as I stand up from my seat and give Gillian a look.
We are so royally fucked.
