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Chapter thirteen
"I perform well under pressure."
John was leaning against the counter next to the fishbowl when Ember came into the kitchen.
“You’re still up?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s on your mind?”
He shook his head. “Nothing.”
She pointed at him. “Not true. You were a man lost in deep thought, if ever I saw one.”
He smiled and glanced at the fishbowl. “I guess I was worried about Bob.”
“I believe that’s the first time you lied to me, John. But I’ll pretend I believe you.” She walked over to him, and he stayed where he was, a few inches away from her. She turned the fishbowl, then glanced at him. “John, really. What is it?”
He pushed away from the counter and moved a few feet away. He wasn’t sure if he should tell her what had been on his mind for quite some time now. “I hate that I don’t know for sure if there’s someone out there looking for me.”
She turned to him. “Of course there are people looking for you. You had a life before this. Family, friends, business associates.” She smiled. “The cowhands you bossed around.”
“It’s the family part that troubles me. Do I have a family? If I do, then…” He left the sentence hanging and looked at Ember.
“Then what?”
He sighed. “Then I shouldn’t be feeling what I’m feeling.” There, he’d said it. No backing down now.
“And what are you feeling?” She took a step toward him and he took a step back.
“I don’t feel like I’d be the kind of guy who was a cheater. But if I have a wife out there, then, what I’m feeling is wrong.” She took another step toward him and he held out a hand. “Just stop. Stay there.” He picked up a chair and set it down in front of him.
She laughed. “John.”
He pointed at her. “Please don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m not. I swear. You’re just really cute and sweet. And I totally understand what you’re saying.”
“So I’m not just… I’m not alone here?” Is it possible she felt the same way?
She shook her head. “No.”
“What I’m feeling. What I felt from almost the first moment I saw you. You feel it too?”
She nodded her head.
“Well, shit.” He suddenly felt a littlelightheaded, and he put his hands on the back of the chair for support. “I’m too old for you, Ember.”
“I don’t care about that.”
He wanted to make sure she knew what he was thinking. And what the possible ramifications would be. “And you really don’t know who I am. How could you? I don’t know who I am.”
“I think I do. I know who you are now, and that’s all I care about.”
He let go of the chair and rubbed his face, then drew his hands back through his hair. “That still doesn’t change the fact I could very well have a wife, or a fiancé. Even a girlfriend. So me…us, acting on this…whatever this is…would be really wrong. And possibly devastating to the wife, fiancé, or girlfriend who may or may not be out there.”
“I agree. But what if…and I hope this isn’t the case. What if you never get your memories back?”
