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“It’s not complicated,” he said. “It’s simple. I’m here. I came to New York.”
“You came because I had a scan.”
“I came foryou,” he repeated. “We have a family. Another on the way. But more importantly,I love you. Don’t you believe even that anymore?”
In a way, it really was music to my ears—but in the same way a siren’s song would pull sailors to their deaths in the sea. Xavier would pull me under all over again if I let him. And I had more to think about than just myself.
“I do believe you,” I said softly. “Honestly, I do, because I…I love you too.”
His shoulders relaxed a bit but tensed again once I continued speaking.
“But I also think there is still a big part of you that is figuring out just what that means. And I can’t risk Sofia and myself and maybe this baby getting hurt by it again. Xavi, I’m sorry. But I just can’t.”
“So, I’ve got to prove myself all over again. Is that what you’re saying?” he asked, unable to keep bitterness from lashing through his voice.
“I’m not saying anything.” My speech was weak. Almost as weak as my resolve. “I’m saying we have to stop.”
“Right back where we started, then.”
“No,” I said. “Where we started was with a future. But now we know what that future holds. We only hurt each other, and I won’t do it anymore. Xavi, I love you too, but it’sover.”
He stared at me for a long time, the muscle in his jaw ticking ferociously while he clenched and released dual fists over and over again. He looked like he wanted to tear the entire pier apart. Like he could actually do it if he had a mind to.
But to my surprise, he turned to walk back down the pier in the direction we’d come from, pulling his phone out of his pocket and sending a message as he strode on.
“Where are you going?” I called as I scampered behind him. “What are you doing now?”
“I’mtryingnot to yell,” he said, barely getting the words out through his teeth, though he had slowed so I might catch up. “Someone told me I was a bully a bit ago, that my temper gets in the way of things I care about.”
His eyes practically cut right through me with a quick shear of a glance.
Me. I was the one who told him that.
My jaw dropped, stopping me for a half-second before I caught back up to him. By the time we had exited the pier, his car had already pulled to the curb.
“I can take the train,” I said lamely, even as I allowed myself to be shepherded into the back seat.
“Don’t try me right now, Ces,” Xavier said as he got in beside me. “John, back to Francesca’s house, all right?”
The car took off down the West Side Highway, leaving Xavier and me to sit silently, if not sullenly, in the back together.
“Xavi,” I started, but he just held up a hand.
“I need a minute,” he said. “Just some quiet until we get there.”
I opened my mouth but decided to nod instead. This was…different. Certainly, not the hothead I typically had to deal with. Where it was coming from, I didn’t know. But if he needed space, I could afford him that. Perhaps take the ride to think myself.
“But, Ces?”
I turned back to find him studying me closely.
“This discussion isnotclosed,” he said.
Then he leaned in, so his stubbled jaw tickled my skin. His soft lips on my cheek sent a shiver down my neck and a flush over the rest of me while his deep voice rumbled in my ear.
“Love can’t burn this hot only to flame out in a single night. I don’t know much, but I do know that.”
“D-do you?” I asked. My voice was barely above a whisper.
