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Before I can even think about what I’m doing, I’m across the deck, throwing myself against him and pressing my lips to his.
Chapter Seventeen
Ben
I’m shocked;startled. When Kasey crossed the deck towards me, I had exactly one second to process the look in her eye, the one that spoke of gratitude, exhaustion, spontaneity, and passion. Her eyes glittered with all of it, and it’s one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen.
Now her sweet, plush lips are against mine, and while I expected the first time this happened I’d be overwhelmed with a million different thoughts, my lips seem to have a mind of their own. They instinctually grab onto hers, pulling them closer and consuming them. My arms follow their lead, wrapping completely around her and jerking her close to me, making her upper body flush with mine. The scent of her shampoo mixes with the scent of roses and settles over me.
I don’t stop to think if this is right, or if we should talk first, or anything like that. What’s happening makes me feel like I just stepped out of a dark, grey world and into one full of vibrant colors and lights, and my feelings cling to the tether that pulled me into it.
My fingers grip onto Kasey’s back, bunching the soft material of her top as our lips engage in some warm, enchanting, sensual dance.
Eventually, our breathing becomes labored, and the need for air gently pushes our mouths apart. I rest my forehead against hers as we both take a few deep breaths.
“Kasey,” I breathe, as I think of where she likely was tonight, and what led up to this moment. I’m not naïve to the fact that Jamie would have wanted me to move forward and not be alone the rest of my life, I’ve just never found anyone that has made me want to. But fuck, do I want Kasey. And it’s her I’m worried about. I know she’s sober, but after the day she’s had, I’m wondering how rational she is. “Are you okay?” I finally ask her.
“I am now,” she breathlessly nods. But a few seconds later, her eyes open and she looks up at me with a panicked look. “I’m sorry,” she starts to back away, but I hold her fast, pulling her against me again.
“Don’t do that,” I grumble, looking her hard in the eye. “I want you,” I tell her between breaths, and I can see the wheels turning, like she’s wondering if I felt this way since she told me how she feels. “I have from the beginning. I want this, right now. All of it.”
Kasey
“Ben,” I pant between our lips. “Do you have anything? Do you have condoms?”
Believe it or not, I don’t keep any around. Any time I’ve gotten physical with a guy it’s been back at his house, and the last time was an embarrassing amount of time ago.
“I…” he pulls away just enough to look in my eyes. “I don’t. I haven’t had to; I haven’t been with anyone in five years. I’ve never even given it a thought, until now.” He still has both hands threaded in my hair, and his eyes are searching mine like he’s just realizing this.
Five years?
Since he lost his wife…
“Ben, are you sure you want to?”
“Yes,” he hurriedly cuts me off before locking his mouth on mine again. He’s kissing me hard, his lips mauling mine.
“Are you sure you want it to be me?” I ask breathlessly when he breaks off to kiss down my neck. That makes him stop and bring his face back to rest his forehead against mine.
“Kasey,” he breathes as he holds a strand of my hair in each hand and slowly slides them down, like he’s savoring the feeling of it between his fingers. “Ithasto be you.” I look deep into his eyes, searching for meaning, and find a warm fire burning brightly behind the light brown before he clarifies, “I want you.”
Ben
I want her so much it’s indescribable. I’ve gone so long having no desire to so much as lie down next to anyone, but being with Kasey has my heart racing, my blood pumping, and my mind rushing. One taste, and I just want more and more. More of her lips, her skin. It’s like my heart is a bomb about to go off, and the only way to disarm it is to surrender to all the feelings this woman is igniting in me, to press myself against her, to get inside her until we’re both sated and spent. I want to feel everything; the pleasure, the ache, the passion, even the emotion; bring it. I want it.
“Do you take the pill?” I ask, as my mouth continues its frantic mission of covering every inch of her skin I can reach while she’s still fully dressed. She nods as she takes my face in her hands, and I feel her chest heaving against mine. “Is there anyone else?”
“Not in years,” she practically moans against my lips, and that’s all I need.
“Then we’re safe Kasey, I promise,” I assure her before I let my mouth engulf hers again, and she releases a whimper that sends an ache to my cock.
“It can’t be here,” she whispers, even though her hands are sneaking up under my t-shirt. I respond by reaching down to grab her legs and lifting her up before they automatically go around me. I start walking us down the hall to her bedroom while my mouth continues to venture over all the skin of her neck and chest that her top will let me get to.
Once we’re in her room, I reach behind me to quietly close the door and set her down with my other arm. She reaches around me to click the lock that I thank God she has.
I waste no time pulling her flowery top up and over her head, leaving her in a black bra that cradles her full breasts so beautifully. I can’t resist immediately putting my hands on them and gently squeezing as my tongue dives between her cleavage. I back her up towards her bed, my body pressing against her, silently ordering her to sit. She does, while taking the hem of my shirt and raising it up. I reach behind me and help her to pull it all the way off and tossing it aside before climbing on top of her and continuing my urgent exploration of her body. I am starving for this woman.
My mind wants to slow down and enjoy every second, the feeling of every touch and kiss, and it’s at war with my body that can’t get enough, fast enough. I try to reconcile the two and level myself enough to make my motions more deliberate, and catalog each feeling. I still can’t take my mouth off of her. Her skin is smooth and sweet as I make my way down her stomach and hear her gasp when I get to the sensitive flesh on her lower abdomen. Wanting to hear it again, I let my tongue out and lightly feather it against her skin, and I’m not disappointed. I work my way back up her body and lean on an elbow beside her. I make myself take a moment to look at her lying across her bed with the moonlight peeking through her curtains, enough to illuminate her skin and making her black bra stand out in contrast. I glide my hand slowly down her torso until it finds the clasp of her jeans. Her blue eyes plead with me to continue and I pop the button. Her breathing picks up again and she reaches for me while I pull the zipper down and bring my mouth down on her again, nibbling along her jaw. She tries to stay quiet as my hand finds its way inside her jeans, but when I find her silky panties and start gliding my fingers across the material, she cranes her neck back and gasps, and I can’t resist placing a kiss to the hollow of her throat.
