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“What the fuck?!” he exclaims as he jumps out of his seat, looking down at the growing wet spot spreading across the front of his jeans.
“I’ll pass on what was sure to be a passionate romp in the sack. But don’t worry, one day you’re going to make some desperate girl with ridiculously low standards very happy,” I cynically assure him, trying to dismiss the fact that once upon a time that was me. But some hardcore life lessons will change that real quick.
The clueless moron just gapes at me, at a loss for words for the first time tonight.
“Oh,” I add as I pull my purse strap up on my shoulder, “you might want to have the server bring you a towel. Looks like you had a little accident there,” I wiggle my finger in the direction of his crotch before turning and strolling away.
“What are you doing here?” Lizzie asks from my couch as I come in my front door and lean back against it to close it. “You’re home early.”
I don’t answer as my attention is on the nine-year-old girl huddled next to her in her Disney Descendants pajamas, a nervousI’ve been caughtgrimace on her face. I look between her and the really bad B-horror movie playing on the flat screen and raise an eyebrow at my best friend.
Lizzie looks to Luna with a double take and an incredibly fake look of surprise.
“What the?! Young lady! What are you doing up? Get back to bed! Now! Scoot!”
Luna says nothing but gives us both a sheepish grin and eases up off the couch, and after a love tap on the tush from Lizzie, quickly shuffles in the direction of her bedroom.
I roll my eyes and shake my head.
“So why are you home so early?” Lizzie interrogates as she leans forward to grab the remote and pause the movie. I know all too well that this is mostly out of genuine curiosity, and only a small percentage is because she’s trying to distract me from the fact that she let my child stay up way past her bedtime and let her watch a movie that will result in her climbing in bed with me in the middle of the night. Well, two can play that game.
“What the hell is going on with your hair?” I deflect, glancing up at her candy-apple red hair and how it’s up in two lopsided pigtails, one messily braided while the other is hanging in an actually impressive sleek curl.
“I was watching Battlestar Galactica and Luna got bored. Now, why are you home early?”
I let out a heavy sigh and roll my eyes as I dump my purse in the nearby chair. “He was another winner,” I mutter, as I hold myself against the door and pry off my heels.
“Dammit, sorry, babe,” Lizzie lets out a sigh of her own and stands up off the couch. “Go get changed. I’ll get the Phish Food and cue up Blood and Love.”
Lizzie and I have a shared lust for Colson Hawkins. Hey, we’re single. We have to get our thrills somehow. We even get together at my house every week after I’ve put Luna to bed to watch Vampire Diaries while we shovel Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food into our gobs.
She strolls to the kitchen as I pad barefoot to my room and change into my favorite pair of plaid pajama pants and oversized Turn it Up t-shirt.
“I’m done,” I declare into my pint of B&J once we’re settled on the couch again.
“You’re not done,” Lizzie responds around a mouthful of ice cream. “You care too much about falling in love to give up. You’re just frustrated.”
“Maybe, but I’m definitely taking a hiatus. I need to regroup and strategize; find a way to break this chain of horny dimwits I always end up going out with.” I spoon another bite into my mouth and remember a key detail about tonight’s stellar date.
Lizzie looks to me with wide eyes, and after letting it sink in, tosses her head back in a cackle.
“Yeah, I’ll stick with Colson, thank you very much!” I bark through my own laughter as I point my spoon at the screen while the good Ian pins us with arealsexy smolder.
Ben
After roughly a day and a half of traveling, I’m on the last leg of my journey - a flight from New York to Detroit. My legs and my back are stiff, I’ve barely slept, and I need a shower so bad I’d consider walking through a car wash. And while the fourteen-hour flight from Dubai to New York was the longest part of the trip, it has nothing on this “short” flight, thanks to the redhead seated next to me. When everyone was finding their seats before the flight took off, I found her attractive in a cute, bubbly way.
And then she opened her mouth… and hasn’t shut it since.
For a split second before she sat down, I thought that since I’m making a trip I never saw myself making again, and putting myself in a situation full of people for the first time in I’m afraid to say how long, why not blow the dust off my social skills? Easing into that might be a good idea, right?
Seriously, I’ve been such a loner the last few years that I don’t want to come off rude or have everyone Melanie cares about thinking I’m feral.
Neither easing in, nor small talk, were on the redhead’s agenda however. I’m not sure she took a breath the entire flight.
I never planned on spending the rest of my life as a hermit widower. In the first months following Jamie’s death, yes, the pain was unbearable to the point that I literally ran from it, but I could still intellectualize that it wouldn’t feel that way forever, and eventually, I’d be ready to live again. I knew I couldn’t carry a torch for my deceased wife for the rest of my days, and there was never a time that I decided to be celibate or even single for the rest of my life. I just wanted to escape until the hardest part was over, and when I could stand it, I’d return and take the steps back to something resembling a life. But it didn’t go like I planned. While the pain did ease over time, somehow, I just got stuck. I never woke up with that feeling one day that it was time to snap out of it. I got comfortable, content even. No desire to move forward.
When I reach baggage claim, my brain is still buzzing from two and a half hours of the woman running her yap right next to me about how the keto diet changed her life, which cleanse she wants to try next, and how her cat is like having a real child. She didn’t exactly get me excited to be around people again. Mel owes me, big.
