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I pull myself up out of the bed and pull my pants on, leaving the top button open and slowly wander out into the house in search of her. I’m greeted by the irresistible smell of the coffee, sitting hot in the pot on the counter, and a light morning breeze blowing in from the open door of the back deck. As much as I want a cup, I bypass the coffee, and instead follow an even stronger pull out to the deck where I find Kasey, wearing nothing but the t-shirt I had on yesterday, curled in one of the white wicker chairs, gazing out at her peaceful yard.

Her face turns my way as I approach and a peaceful smile spreads across it. It briefly turns to one of curiosity as I gently take the mug from her hands and place it on the side table before scooping her up in my arms and turning to sit in the chair myself with her across my lap. I hand her mug back to her and we stare at each other with comfortable smiles for a moment.

Then, she rests her head against my chest as I secure an arm around her back and one across her bare legs. No words, no sound but the wind chimes. It’s just the two of us sitting in comfortable silence, content in this place and time.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Kasey

I don’t get it.

How am I here, yet again?

Then again, what did I expect?

I know damn well I’m good for a guy in the moment but not the long game, yet I kissed Ben anyway that night; and I gave into him over the weekend. Same old me. I even believed the love making was real. But the rest of the day on Sunday…

He didn’t have to stick around for that. Why did he stay with me for hours, cuddling and barely letting me out of his grasp if he didn’t feel something?I’ve made it clear from the beginning that I feel something, why can’t he do the same?I think, as I put my combs and scissors in the cleaning solution.

Then it hits me.

He already found his forever with someone else. Alive or not, he already found her and no one can compare to that for him, let alone me.

Still… a mass text to all the parents in Luna’s basketball group stating he won’t be at practice today is ghosting on a whole other level.

I’ve been smiling and going through the motions of small talk and hair styling all day, acting like I’m an active part of the whole beauty shop biddy banter, but in my head, I’ve been in some dark corner trying to dissect Ben’s actions since I’ve met him, and in the past few days in particular. And the more I stew on it, the angrier I get.

I told him how I felt in the beginning because I do not have the mental or emotional capacity to play games like this, and here he is, acting like the awkward, morning after frat boy.

That idea gets me good and pissed. Until I think some more.

This is not like the other guys I’ve dated from that meat market dating app (that I’ll be giving a one-star review to, by the way). This is a damaged, yet humble guy that married someone once. This isn’t him, I decide, after a day of cycling through every thought and feeling I have towards Ben Isaak. It started with feeling foolish and dejected, followed by sad and hopeless. As I go over more of his character and what we’ve been to each other, I realize this just doesn’t seem right. The piss and vinegar in my veins quickly changes to ice water as I become worried about him. What if he’s really sick? Then again, he’s a doctor. Current license or not, he’d know how to take care of himself.

I texted this morning after practice was cancelled, telling him I hoped he was alright, and I haven’t heard a word. That was what originally got me going on the idea I’d been rejected once again, but what if he’s not alright?

I grab my phone out of my pocket to look at the two text messages I sent today asking if he was okay. Both are marked ‘unread’.

I dial his number and it goes immediately to voice mail. That’s usually a sign that things are not okay, and all of a sudden, I’m going nuts.

I just want to check, to lay eyes on him and see for myself. Then he can dump me if he wants. All I care about right now is his wellbeing. I can deal with myself later.

“Katy?” I hustle over to her as she cleans her station. “Can you take Luna home? I just have to run an errand.”

“Sure! How long do you think you’ll be?”

“Just a half hour,” I assure her as I go back to my station and grab my bag and keys out of the drawer.

“Okay,” she agrees with a warm smile. “I’ll just run her to your place then.”

“Thank you,” I say as I pass her and go over to Luna at the corner table to find her happily watching a show on her tablet. “Sweetie, Katy is going to run you home while I go take care of something, but I won’t be long.”

“Where are you going?” she asks as I lean down and kiss her cheek.

“To check on Ben and make sure he’s okay since he didn’t make your practice today.”

“Can’t I come?”

“Not this time, okay?” I don’t know what I’m going to find when I get to Matt and Melanie’s. “But I’ll be fast.”

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