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“Kasey, I don’t deserve you but I want to. I want to deserve you. So I’m going to do what it takes to get to a place where I do, so that I can have you, if you’ll have me.”
“What… what do you mean?” I’ve never been more confused.
“It means I want you in my life for as long as I live, but the only way I can do that is by knowing I’m giving you my best self. So I’m going to go do the work and make that happen, so we can be together. Because I’m not about to let some stupid little detail like not deserving you get in the way of letting you make me the happiest man in the world.”
“How… how do I know you’re coming back?” I ask, speaking carefully and trying not to let him see me tremble.
“This is how,” he reaches behind him and pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket and hands it to me. “I told Luna I was never getting rid of this, and I meant it. Will you ask her to take care of it for me until I get back, and that I will be back for it?”
I open it to see that it’s the card Luna made for him after he saved her. My breath catches in my throat because I know he’d never let Luna think he was coming back if he wasn’t.
I feel my eyes glass over as I finally nod confidently up at him.
“Will you also tell her I love her?” he adds, and this time, a sob jumps up in my throat. I take my next breath in a deep gasp as I nod up at him again. I could tell he had come to adore my daughter, but hearing him say those words about her…
Ben wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me against him and caresses the back of his knuckles down the side of my cheek.
“Look at me,” he says quietly and I oblige, looking up into his soft brown eyes that have never looked so clear. They aren’t clouded with sadness or bitterness; rather they hold a warm mixture of happiness, love and hope. “I’m not doing this to leave you. I’m doing this to be with you. Do you trust me? Do you trust me to come back to you and Luna?”
I hold his gaze and allow myself to recount the last few months with him. This man came back to a country he didn’t want to, to be there for his friend’s wedding. Maybe saving Luna is what any bystander would have done, but then he came to the hospital with us to make sure she was still okay, despite his history with ER rooms and hospitals. He stuck around to coach basketball at a time he was most likely to rush back to his peaceful solitary life. He opened his heart to us when he never thought he would do that for anyone. He came running in the middle of the night when I needed him with no question. Now he’s asking for a little faith so he can fix a few things in his life and come back to us whole.
“Yes,” I nod up at him as I feel tears spill over from my eyes. “Yes, Ben. I trust you.”
He wastes no time lowering his head to bring his mouth down on mine. The kiss is deep and full. Full of emotion, longing, and I can feel everything he feels. There’s so much love here.
“I love you so much,” he rasps as his hands start to roam, like they’re trying to touch every part of my body they can. My own hands follow suit.
Our arms move frantically around each other, our mouths afraid to break our connection, and just when I’m thinking I want to get closer, be skin-to-skin, Ben reaches down and pulls on the sash of my robe, nudging each side apart. His hands go up under my tank top, massaging along my rib cage and it sets fire to my skin, one that spreads to my center. He grips me needily as his mouth continues to engulf mine, and I instinctually grab on to the opening of his shirt. I get a whiff of his musky sea scent combined with aftershave, and it makes me crave more. I pull my mouth from his to nuzzle into his neck and let my lips kiss along the skin there. He responds by thrusting a hand in my hair and angling my head so that he can do the same to me. Our mouths devour and worship each inch of skin our clothing will allow, but it’s not long before it’s not enough.
His hands caress the skin of my shoulders, pushing the robe off of them as he walks me backwards towards the futon. I release his shirt only long enough to let it drop off my arms as he lowers us down onto the cushiony bed. I let out a soft moan as his mouth continues exploring down my neck. Everything he’s doing is making me breathless, and as I lie beneath him in nothing but a tank top and panties, I start undoing the buttons on his shirt, eager to feel the bare skin of his chest pressed against my body. I only get two undone before he sits up and starts undoing the rest, staring down at me with an intent look of want clearly etched on his face, and any insecurities I may have had moments ago fly away on the warm, night breeze.
This isn’t goodbye.
This isI’ll see you soon.
Ben peels one side of his shirt off and then the other, exposing his broad shoulders and his golden toned arms that I long to have wrapped around me. He resumes his position on top of me and kisses me lightly.
“Let me make love to you, Kasey,” he whispers against my lips. I let my actions speak my response as I reach for him, pulling him close. My mouth locks onto his while my hands glide down the smooth skin of his back, memorizing each ridge and contour.
Ben slides my tank top up and over my head and holds my hands together above me with one hand while he lets the other glide down my arm, stopping to palm my breast. Our breathing becomes increasingly labored the more we touch, the more we kiss.
Somewhere in the middle of the whirlwind, Ben rids himself of his pants, and his warm cock caresses my belly as he starts working my panties down my hips. He grabs a nearby throw blanket and carelessly drapes it over us. He wraps an arm beneath me and grips my thigh as he pushes inside me in a long, hard thrust. The size of him never fails to make me gasp upon the initial entry, and the pressure quickly gives way to unbelievable pleasure as he moves in deep.
He keeps his thrusts shallow, creating the perfect friction, but his pace slow, drawing it out; making it last as long as possible. His breathing and moaning become increasingly desperate right alongside mine.
Our movements, the rhythm of his hips, the heat, my heartrate… it all builds rapidly and tapers upwards as we get closer. Every touch from Ben is tender, thoughtful and yearning, making this the best lovemaking experience of my life, here on this makeshift bed, outside on this summer night.
“I want us to come together, babe,” Ben breathes in my ear as I feel him swelling inside me and my walls respond in kind.
“Yes,” I pant, “I’m ready.”
Ben’s hand glides up my thigh to my ass, giving my flesh a firm squeeze as he slams in hard, making us both tumble down the mountain together. A hoarse cry escapes the back of my throat and I try not to be too loud as I explode around him. His groans and grunts are muffled in my neck as I feel him throbbing inside me against my walls before he collapses on top of me.
My arms go around him with one hand in his hair as our breaths heave against each other in the sweet afterglow. We rest together, holding each other close with no words for a few moments before Ben is kissing me, and moving inside me again.
Ben
Kasey and I spend the whole night exhausting our energy into each other. It’s as if we’re giving each other the faith, hope, and love to get through this next phase where we take some time to stand on our own before we can come back together. I meant every word I said to her. I don’t feel like I deserve her, but unlike most unnecessary assholes she’s encountered, I’m not using that as some lame excuse not to be with her; I’m going to do something about it.
