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“He should be here, Elle. He is missing it all. All the good things,” she pushed my hand away as I tried to help her up. I immediately knew who she was referring to. My papi. The love of her life. His death had been the hardest on her. Gio had suffered and lost himself too but since finding Liv, he is better. I went through a dark period of grief, but I pulled myself out of it and focused on uni. Sani and Raya were both too young to really remember that painful time. But it seemed to haunt mamma every day.
“I know. But he is. Papi is watching everything. He is with us all the time.”
She shook her head, then reached for my face, her slender hands adorned with her crystal rings gripping my cheeks.
“He will never get to walk you down the aisle! He is meant to do that! Who is going to do that?” She cried, making my heart squeeze in my chest and tears spring to my eyes. I could not fall apart in front of her. Always be strong.
“Mamma, who is to say I will ever get married? And if I do, Gio can walk me down the aisle. Or Sani. Or you! Because papi is in my heart and he will always be there.”
“I am a terrible woman. A horrible woman,” she started shaking her head, releasing me and gripping her hair in her hands.
“Of course you are not mamma! What would make you say that?” I sighed, pulling her hands into mine so she didn’t start tugging at her hair.
“I - I - like him,” she burst into a fresh wave of tears. I pulled her into my arms just as I heard the door to the bathroom open.
“Signora Buccini?” A gruff voice called out. A voice I recognised and trusted. One of the only men who knew my mamma’s struggles.
“Marco?” I called as he opened the door, his eyes wide with concern when he saw the state of my mamma. “She hasn’t taken her pills. Can you help me get her up to her room without anyone noticing and I will stay with her.”
“Let me take her, Signorina. You should stay and enjoy the party. I have just put the children to bed so I am free to sit with her,” he said kindly but I wasn’t sure. I shouldn’t leave her like this. She peered up at him through her tear-stained eyes and smiled.
“Marco? Will you look after me?”
“Si, signora. If you would like me to?”
She nodded and moved to her feet. I grabbed her arms to steady her as she stepped forward, brushing her crisp, elegant suit down.
“Oh, look at me! What a silly woman,” she chuckled as I glanced between her and Marco. Clearly, there was something going on between the two of them.
“Mamma, I can come with you. Stay with you tonight?” I asked but she shook her head, dismissing me with her hand.
“No, no. I just need to sleep. You enjoy yourself, my dear,” she took Marco’s large arm as he looked over at me with a serious expression.
“I promise she will be okay,” he said, holding my gaze with sincerity. I knew he would take care of her. Put her in her bed and make sure she took her pills. He was a good man under that hard, well-built armour. One of the best. And he cared for this family more than most. But now, I wondered if he cared more for Cecilia Buccini than an employee should.
As soon as the door closed behind them, the sound of laughter and music blared in for a few seconds only to be left in silence once more. I felt my bottom lip trembling as I surrendered myself to the sudden onslaught of emotions that I had been trying to keep at bay. I slammed my hand over my mouth as the traitorous tears glided down my cheeks. This was ridiculous. This was a happy day. I was happy. I am happy. I told myself on repeat.
But the reality was that I felt suffocated. And for a woman who suffers from claustrophobia, it is not a pleasant feeling at all. I needed a release. I needed to experience something different from this life, even for one night. I hadn’t realised how hard I would find it to move back home after living in relative independence for the last six years. I was never fully free, but the illusion of it had been enough. And now it is gone.
I straightened my back and grabbed my bag, pulling out the card from Rico that I had been carrying around for no particular reason. Before I could talk myself out of it, I scrambled for my phone and dialled the number. After two rings, that sexy French voice answered the phone.
“Bonjour.”
“Hi, um, Rico?” I hesitated.
“Who is this?”
“It’s Elle. From the other night? The birthday girl?”
I waited with bated breath, hoping I hadn’t just made a huge mistake calling him and he did in fact remember me.
“Oh, hi! I didn’t think I would hear from you.”
I giggled nervously as I looked in the mirror, “Yeah. I am more surprised than you are, trust me.”
“Okay,” he chuckled. “What can I do for you, Elle?” The way he asked the question with a seductive accent, indicated that he was willing to do whatever I asked.
“Well, I was wondering if you could get me into the club? The new one you work at?”
