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“All the more reason to get in there and bang one out,” she declared. “Or maybe more than one. All the more reason to get in there and bang a dozen out.”
“You and Monica are the worst,” I grumbled. “I’m not banging anything out.”
She looked at me like I’d just grown another arm out of the center of my forehead. “Why the hell not?” she asked in a tone that was equal parts bewildered and accusatory.
She sat up, removing her feet from the coffee table and leaning forward with her elbows braced on her knees. “Seriously, when was the last time you had sex? And don’t give me that shit about not remembering. A woman remembers.”
She was right, I did remember the last time I had sex. It was right before I found out I was pregnant. I wish I could forget about it, truly, but every horrible memory from that time in my life was burned into my brain.
I didn’t miss a single thing about Graham. Even with all the running and hiding and constant worry, I was happier these past few years than I’d ever been with him. But I’d be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t painfully aware of my lack of a sex life. My vibrator ran through batteries at an alarmingly fast rate.
“It’s... been a while,” I hedged when it became clear she wasn’t going to let this line of questioning go.
She arched a brow, her silent demand for me to get more specific.
I rolled my eyes on a huff. “It was around the time I realized I was pregnant, okay?”
Her back shot straight, a look of horror etched across her face. “Oh, God. You poor thing.”
I rolled my eyes skyward. “Will you stop it? It’s not a big deal. And I certainly don’t need to be pitied by a woman who slept with a guy whose claim to fame was being a ‘latte foam artist.’”
She lifted a finger in defense. “First off, he was very passionate about his work, so who am I to judge what some people consider art?”
“It’s not art. The dude was a glorified barista at a Starbucks.”
“That’s beside the point.” She waved me off. “And secondly, that guy rocked my freaking world. I was walking funny for a week, thank you very much.”
I wrinkled my nose at her overshare before relenting. “Fine. But what about the guy with the Harry Potter hang up?”
Her mouth opened but no words came out, like she knew there was no rebuttal for that one. She pursed her lips like she was in deep thought for a second before saying, “Okay, I’ll give you that one. I wasn’t a big fan of him shouting, ‘I solemnly swear I’m up to no good’ every time he was about to come. It was a real lady boner killer. Also, I’m going to stop telling you things if you’re just going to throw them back in my face.”
“Iwishyou would stop. You tell me too much. I have images scraped into my head that I’m never going to be able to get out.Never.”
She blew out a raspberry. “Pfft. My ability to overshare is one of the things you love most about me.”
“It really isn’t.”
“And we’ve gotten way off point. Are you honestly telling me Renee’s dad was the last person you slept with?”
I threw back the last of my drink so fast the tartness and spice burned a path down my throat, pooling in my belly like fire spreading across gasoline.
“Holy shit.” She sucked in a breath, my silence all the answer she needed. “Wow. I just...” She gave her head a shake. “You never really say anything about Renee’s dad. Don’t get me wrong, that’s totally cool. You’ll tell me if or when you want to, I’m not going to push.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” I said, feigning a casual attitude I certainly didn’t feel. “It was just a short fling. I didn’t really know the guy.” The lie slipped off my tongue so easily it was almost scary. It wasn’t that I didn’t mind lying. Truth was, I hated it, but the lie about Graham was easy enough because it was what Iwantedto be true. It was the very same lie I told myself day after day as a way to solidify my new life and the person I had become.
Lying was so much easier when you wanted it to be the truth.
“Then what’s the deal? If you aren’t still hung up on this guy, why haven’t you put yourself back out there? You’re a stone-cold fox, babe. You could have any man you want. Trust me, I’ve heard more than enough rumblings from the guys in town.”
She wasn’t asking simply to be nosey. She genuinely wanted to know. Since I rolled into town, my non-existent sex life had been one of the world’s greatest mysteries—at least according to Luna.
“No reason.” Another lie I wished was the truth. See? Easy. “I have Renee to take care of and a job and bills to pay. Being a single mom doesn’t really leave time for much else.”
She let out a slow, steady breath, silent for several beats and staring off like she was lost in contemplation before finally speaking again. “You deserve to have something of your own, Sawyer.”
“I have something of my own. I have Renee. That’s all I need.”
Luna gave me a look, telling me she knew I was being intentionally obtuse. “You know what I mean,” she said flatly.
