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Nicole looked at him, confused, until realization dawned on her.
“Scott called you, didn’t he?”
“Yeah,” admitted Brendan, watching the calf wobble back and forth as it tried to figure out what balance was. “But I promised I wouldn’t throw him under the bus, so when you give him a scolding, let him know it wasn’t me who told you.”
“Don’t worry; I’ll tell him I figured it out all on my own.”
The back-and-forth felt as familiar and easy as if they’d last spoken yesterday. He’d been hoping she’d crack a smile, just a tiny one, but her face was as serious as the first time he’d met her.
“Nicole?” he asked. “Is everything all right?”
She suddenly looked worried, her arms crossing over herself in that familiar protective stance.
“Did Scott tell youwhyI fainted the other day?”
“No,” said Brendan. “I asked but he said that it was private, which was fair enough.”
“Okay. I won’t actually have to murder him, then. That’s good.”
“Yeah, please don’t murder your brother; he seems like a decent guy.”
She did smile a little at that, just a twitch at the corner of her mouth. “Yeah, he is.”
“So, are you going to stop stalling and tell me what happened?”
Whether she liked it or not, he was going to get an answer, so he could definitely be patient and wait her out. He had all the time in the world.
When she spoke, eyes still firmly on the ground, her voice was so quiet that he almost couldn’t hear her. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
That broke Brendan’s heart. He’d been so angry at her,furious, with the whole sabotaging fiasco, but he’d been mad because he’d fallen in love with her. That’s why it hurt so much.
“Nicole, I don’t think it’s possible for me to hate you.”
“You sure about that? Because I did try and ruin your chances at running this place,” she said, aiming for a joke and only showing how much she was hurting when her voice wobbled, making Brendan think of the tiny calf nearby that couldn’t get its balance.
“Yeah, well, you failed pretty bad at that, didn’t you?”
“I’m glad I did,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” he said, not doubting her for a second. “I know. And over the last few weeks, thinking it all over, I can see how lost and angry you must have been. It’s okay.”
She swiped a hand over her cheek, still not looking at him. Brendan took her other hand, the one pulling at the grass around them, folding her fingers within his. He could swear she was trembling.
“I was so horrible to you,” she said, her hand definitely trembling now. “You came out here to do something different, because you wanted a better life, ahappierlife, and all I did was hate you for it. And then I couldn’t get over it and tried to force you to leave, tried to make you think it was impossible, acting like some stupid little high school bully…”
Her voice choked off, unable to go on. Brendan ran his thumb over her cheek. She seemed to collect herself just enough to keep saying what she needed to say.
“It’s kind of embarrassing, you know,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh. “How quickly I fell for you. I was just so deep in denial that I couldn’t see it.”
She sniffed, her eyes never once leaving the ground.
“Good to know we have that in common, then,” said Brendan with a small smile, even if she couldn’t see it. “How fast we fell for each other. Though I was never in denial about it, I suppose. Just kind of confused the whole time, I guess.”
Nicole wiped her own cheek this time, back to being silent. Brendan hated that she felt like she couldn’t look at him.
“I should have given you a chance to explain,” he said. “I just threw a tantrum and ran off because I was hurt. But I never gave you a chance to say anything, so we’ve both just beenstewingover it all for weeks instead of fixing it. I promise I’ll do better next time, all right?”
Nicole shook her head as if she didn’t believe what he was saying. “There’ll be a next time?”
