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I washed my body and shampooed my hair to get the smoky smell out. Then I simply stood still, letting the hot water sluice over my body as I tried to make sense of what had just happened. The Fates were fucked up. Giving me a mate only to show me it was impossible for us to be together.
Seriously. What. The. Fuck.
I was already resigned to the fact my career was over. I no longer wanted a life practicing corporate law in New York City and dating men who could never know me. I wanted to come back home. To be with my family and figure out a way to bring balance to my Wolf and my magic. That part was settled.
So why did Mitch have to walk into my life and change all my plans? Why did everything have to get so fucked up? I sobbed and sank down to the bathtub, shoulders shaking hard as I poured out all my wretchedness and misery and allowed it to wash right down the drain.
“Talk to us, Marti,” Sybil implored.
I knew the girls were sitting on the bathroom rug side by side, waiting for me to explain, just like when we were kids. So I talked. I told them everything. Well, mostly everything, but they didn’t need all the details. I told them the gist of things and that Mitch had claimed me and I thought it was okay. Then my Wolf went dark, and my powers came out and I almost burned down his whole fucking trailer.
“But you didn’t actually hurt him?” Nova asked, and I could almost see her scientific cogs turning inside that pretty head of hers.
“But I could have.”
“But you didn’t. You stopped. You got out of there,” Sybil said,
“That’s not the point,” I argued, standing up and turning off the water.
Nothing motivated me like anger, and they were pissing me off. I couldn’t have Mitch. Period. Why beat a dead horse? I grabbed a robe and towel, wrapped it around my body then my head.
“But Marti, you are so lucky. You found your fated mate. I don’t think you should just quit,” Sybil said, and I growled my fury.
“Quit? You think I want to quit?”
“Well, it’s not like you’re fighting for him,” Nova pointed out, and I screamed again, walking out of the bathroom.
What happened to the comfort they were supposed to bring me? I shook my head, stomping towards our bedroom, both of my sisters hot on my heels. I turned around and snapped my jaws, and they slowed down, but continued to dog my steps.
This was not helping. I dressed angrily, shoving my feet into socks, and pulling on a pair of pajama pants and a tank top. I angry-brushed my hair, and yes, it fucking hurt.
“Maybe ease up before you tear it all out, Marti,” Nova murmured, and I snarled again.
At this rate, I was going to Wolf out again in no time. Fuck it. That was not important. Nothing was. The only thing that mattered was I could never have a mate. I was a total fucking hazard. A danger.
“Sweetie, you are not a hazard. Mitchell would be lucky to have you?—”
“Mitchell can’t have me! No one can,” I yelled, and stomped my way through the house to the living room.
Sybil and Nova raced behind me, but I was so done with them. I didn’t want them talking to me about possibilities that were not possible at all! It was making me crazy. Couldn’t they see that it was gutting me to do this? It was killing me to admit that I was so fucked up, I had to leave my fated mate to save him.
“Did you even tell him the truth? Did you tell him what you are?” Nova asked.
“No. I didn’t.”
“So you’re telling me you decided you are this danger to him and therefore you know better than the Fates themselves?”
“Yes. No. What? Nova, I have the worst fucking headache in the world right now and my heart is literally broken. Fuck whoever set this thing in motion if it’s the Fates, then yes, fuck them. I do know better. How the fuck could I live with myself if I hurt him? It isn’t worth the risk.”
“So, you are drawing the conclusion that your Fated Mate is better off without you, and you aren’t worth the risk without even testing your hypothesis? That’s just sloppy work, Marti,” Nova said and tsked.
Fucking scientist.
“Marti, you should talk to him. At least give him the chance to decide what he wants,” Sybil argued.
My blood was boiling. I could feel my magic sparking inside of me, and while it was nice not to be dead inside anymore, to hear my Wolf and feel my powers, I was so not about to hurt either of them. Even if they were kind of asking for it. I spun on my heel, cracking my neck as I inhaled and tried to remember those breathing exercises I used to do when I was a kid.
Inhale. 1, 2, 3. Exhale. 1, 2, 3.
