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He smirks, and I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have met him. Without him, I have no doubt I would be dead. He’s saved me more times than I care to admit—but not just literally. He’s saved me from losing myself in the memories of my past, and for that, I will always love him.
Even though I’ve never expressed my feelings aloud, I hope Quinn knows how I feel. Because the love I feel isn’t just butterflies in your stomach.
I love him as a lover.
As a brother.
As a protector.
As a fighter.
And as a friend.
But most of all, I love him for being him.
And one day, I’ll gather the courage to tell him all the ways I love him. But for now, I’ll settle for showing him as I smash my lips to his.
As we walk up the stairs to our room, I wonder where we’ll spend our Christmas. I ignore the stabbing sensation in my chest that my mother and Pollyanna will most likely be partying in style, eating and drinking the most expensive foods and wine, while Quinn and I eat frozen burritos and Pop-Tarts.
But who says that’s what we have to do?
This Christmas, just like Thanksgiving, is the first I’m celebrating. Living with a drug addict whose Christmases all came at once every time he got high kind of took the fun out of celebrating.
I was always so busy dealing during the holidays that when the actual holiday rolled around, I wanted nothing to do with it. But this year will be different. And this year, I have someone I want to buy a gift for.
But what do I buy him? Whatever I decide upon, I know it has to be special.
“Whatcha thinking?” Quinn asks, slipping the rusty key into the lock.
As it wheezes open, I reply, “Christmas.”
“What about it?”
“Just about your present,” I tease, flopping onto the bed.
“Oh yeah? I’m listening,” he replies with a smirk as he kicks off his boots and lies beside me.
“I’m not good at gift giving,” I admit, using my hands as a pillow as I roll on my side to face him.
Quinn is the hottest man I have ever laid my eyes on. And when he nibbles on his lip ring, just like he’s doing now, he takes that sex appeal to a whole new level. Suddenly, my cheeks flush as I’m struck with an idea of what I can give him for Christmas.
“You’re enough of a gift,” he replies with a smile as if reading my thoughts.
“I’m hardly a good substitute for chocolate, eggnog, and gingerbread,” I say nervously, rattling off a list of Christmas goodies, hoping Quinn doesn’t become aware of my blushing cheeks.
“Red,” Quinn states seriously, his eyes scanning down my body. “If I were going to overdose on something sweet, I would much rather eatyou.”
My already flushed cheeks smolder at his admission, and I will my breathing to a normal pace before I embarrass myself.
But no matter how hard I try, his comment awakened my body. And that just makes my gift choice all the more perfect.
“Come here,” Quinn whispers, and I instantly shuffle closer. “For as long as I can remember, Christmas was just another crappy holiday when I would purposely sleep the day away.”
“Why?” I softly question.
“I know I haven’t told you much about my past. And there’s a reason for that. I don’t want you to judge me for actions that I’ll never be able to change. Or ever be able to redeem myself for.”
“I would never—” I frantically reply, but he silences me by placing a finger over my lips.
