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As awful as that sounds, it’s the God’s honest truth.
And the truth has never felt so good.
Quinn sighs, his hair trailing in the wind as he softly confesses, “I wish I hadn’t come home early from school that day. I wish I never saw it.”
Piece by piece, Quinn shows me a sliver of his soul, and what I see is simply beautiful.
“I wish my mother wasn’t such a disappointment. I wish she cared,” I profess, and my voice, just like Quinn’s, is a lot softer and reflective.
However, to my surprise, Quinn takes a deep breath before he whispers, “I wish my mother wasn’t such a disappointment. I wish she cared.”
My hands itch, needing to reach out and console him. But I stop myself because this purge is cathartic for both of us.
As a lightning bolt cracks across the night sky, it lights up the universe for a split second, and everything at that moment is so much clearer.
“I wish I’d fucking said no!” I scream, punching my fist into the sky, and at that precise moment, the heavens open up, dumping rain on both of us.
But we don’t move a muscle.
We stand motionless with our faces raised to the sky, our drenched clothes sticking to our bodies.
“I wish I fucking said yes,” Quinn says softly, but he may as well have screamed it because I heard him loud and clear.
Peeling back the layers of Quinn Berkeley is beautiful. It washes away all the bullshit insecurities I’ve ever had.
And at this moment of clarity, I know that no matter what he did, I will love him for all the days of my life. And although I’m afraid he won’t feel the same, I want him to know.
Turning slowly to face him, I can see that his eyes are still closed, but his mouth is tipped up into a smile that radiates freedom.
I’ve never seen him look so carefree. He looks like the punishing rain is washing away his past sins.
I know it’s not that simple, but we have bonded and gained strength through pain and loss. And that strength suddenly animates me to tell Quinn how I feel.
“Quinn!” I scream to be heard over the harsh rain.
My eyes are mere slits since the rain is so heavy, but the moment Quinn opens his, I see that he has changed. Something inside Quinn has shifted, and it’s beautiful.
“Quinn, I…” I repeat, my teeth chattering from the cold but also from what I’m about to confess.
“You what, Red?” he questions, running a hand through his wet hair.
Another thunderbolt slices through the sky, animating me. But I’m still afraid.
So I place my hands over his ears.
I want to tell him how I feel, but I’m scared.
Droplets of rain cascade down his cheeks, but he doesn’t stir to brush them away, and I know I have his undivided attention as his gaze never wavers from my face.
This is not how I wanted to do this, but I know this will have to do for now.
“Quinn…I…I love you,” I whisper, my hands still sitting firmly over his ears.
Once I say those three little words, the tightening in my chest lessens, and a small smile tugs at my lips because nothing has ever felt so right.
His eyes widen, and I know he read my lips, but I don’t care. Whether he feels the same or not, I’m just happy I said it. Maybe next time, I’ll gather the courage to tell him without any barriers.
He parts his wet lips, but I don’t want him to feel obligated to return my declaration, so I quickly remove my hands, place a trembling finger over his mouth, and slowly shake my head.
