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Chase chortles.“There’s no such thing as bed bugs.”
Deciding a discussion about the reality of bed bugs can wait, I say, “Yeah, what’s with the yelling, dude?I thought you were in trouble, too.I was so scared.Why did you scream?”
He blinks up at me, his giggles fading as he shrugs.“I don’t know.I don’t be-member.”
“Was it something in your dream, maybe?”Aaron suggests.“Do you remember what you were dreaming about?”
Chase’s eyes widen.“I was swedding so fast, and it was so fun!And there was a girl there.She wiked to swed, too.”
The hairs on my arms stand on end beneath my sweater.“A girl?Was she nice?”
He sniffs as he reaches down to grab the tip of his sock, tugging at the saggy toe.“Yeah.She was a big girl, like my cousin, Sawa Beff, but she still wanted to be friends.”He giggles.“And she had pancakes in her coat.It was so silly.We took turns throwing them off the sled.But I didn’t eat any.She said they weren’t good to eat.”
“Pancakes?”I squeak, attempting to remain calm, but losing the battle.When I glance over my shoulder at Aaron, he looks equally creeped out.
I turn back to Chase, fighting the urge to snatch him up in his pajamas and run to the car.He doesn’t seem upset.In fact, his little eyelids are already growing heavy again.I reach down, helping tug his sock back on his foot—we both hate a saggy sock—and ask as casually as possible, “Why weren’t the pancakes good to eat?”
“I don’t be-member,” he says, yawning as I pull the covers back up to his chest.“They were just bad.Can we go swedding tomorrow, Mama?I want to go fast through the snow.”
“Sure, babe,” I say.“As long as the snow doesn’t get too deep tonight.Deep snow isn’t good for sledding.The sled gets stuck.But either way, we can build a snowman.”
“I like snowmen.”He smiles as his eyes slide closed.“And I like sleeping in a big bed.”
“I’m glad, baby.”I stroke his kitten soft hair from his forehead, at war with myself.But in the end, how fast Chase falls back asleep speaks for itself.
He isn’t scared to stay here, and if his dream is to be believed…
Outside the room, Aaron, now wrapped up in one of the fleece blankets from the couch, waits with raised brows.“So?”
I shrug.“I don’t know.He seems fine.He said the girl was nice and wanted to be friends.She told him not to eat the pancakes because they were bad for some reason, so it sounds like she was looking out for him.Maybe she’s a friendly ghost?”
“As long as you don’t try to go in her room,” Aaron adds, his gaze lifting to the second floor.After a beat, he nods.“I can live with that if you can.I’ll be fine on the couch.”
“That should work, I guess.For tonight, anyway.Let’s see how we all sleep and decide in the morning if we want to stay.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Aaron says.“I’ll get dressed and you can jump in the shower.I know you have an early start tomorrow.I don’t want to keep you up.”
“Yeah, I should shower,” I say, accepting the easy out, even though I don’t have work tomorrow.It’s my last Friday off, until the end of March.I’ve been looking forward to sleeping in, having a leisurely brunch with two of my favorite guys, and playing in the snow.
Then Aaron had to go and ruin everything by having feelings.
He’s not the only one having feelings,the inner voice whispers.And are feelings really such a bad thing?
“When they could turn your life upside down, they are,” I mutter as I wait for Aaron to dress.I force a smile when he emerges from the bathroom, helping him into his sling and murmuring, “I’ll be out in a few,” before fleeing into the shower.
There, I do my best to focus on getting clean and calmed down for bed.I don’t want to think about ghosts or Aaron’s confession or how much I loved having his cock in my mouth.I wasn’t lying, I truly do love giving blow jobs.They make me feel sexy, powerful.There’s just something about watching a big, strong man dissolve into a trembling lust puddle that really does it for me.
But blowing Aaron was next level.I didn’t simply want to own his pleasure.I wanted to give him comfort and show him how much I cared.That was a love blow job, not an “establishing sex cred” blow job.
I lean my head against the warm, wet tile wall, cursing myself.
How could I have let this happen?I should have had my guard up.I should have made sure that we never became anything but friends or, at the very most, friends with occasional benefits.But I didn’t think it was possible to go from hating a man to wanting to be around him every second of every day this fast.
It all came on so suddenly.
Did it, though?The inner voice pulls up the “sex with Aaron in November” slideshow, but this time she doesn’t focus on the kinky parts.She homes in on the way we laughed together when we fell off the couch, the way he kissed my forehead in the shower, the way he sighed and pulled me close in the night, like I was all he needed to feel safe and sound.
The November slideshow is followed by a highlight reel from how wonderful he’s been since he moved in, how great he is with Chase, and how sexy, supported, and sane he makes me feel.Before Aaron crash-landed in my life, I was starting to wonder if maybe Ben was right, maybe I wasn’t bringing my mothering A game to the field.
