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“What do you miss most, coffee or wine?”
“Definitely coffee,” I said easily. “It’s so hard to get going in the mornings without it. Besides, this baby makes me exhausted.”
“I can imagine,” she said sympathetically.
“Let’s go through the plan again,” I told her, my nerves getting the better of me. My hands were shaking as I sipped my drink.
“If you get to the ultrasound and if after fifteen minutes, Adam doesn’t show, you call me. I’ll leave from here and be there in five,” she said as if reciting it from memory. “But I really don’t think you’ll need the plan, hon.”
“But if Ido,” I started.
“Then I’ll be there,” she assured me. “You know that I will.”
I sighed in relief. “I do know,” I said softly. Addie had been an absolute saint, always answering the phone when I called her in the wee hours of the morning worried about a twinge I felt in my stomach, or sometimes just sobbing over practically anything.
I had thought that when I got pregnant, I would have a loving husband who would support me and help me througheverything. I didn’t think I would be leaning on my best friend so much.
“Thank you for always being here for me,” I told her, and Addie scoffed, waving her hand as if dismissing my words.
“You’d do the same for me in a heartbeat, and I know that.”
“Of course I would, but still,” I insisted. “You’re amazing.”
“You are,” she said. “I’d be going crazy if I was in the same situation as you, and you’re handling it so well.”
I snorted. “I don’t know about that. I feel like my head might explode.”
Addie raised an eyebrow. “Is that because you’re in love with him?”
I sighed. “I don’t know, Addie. Thinking back on it now, with Toby, I don’t think I was ever really in love. I think I just thought that I was.”
“And now?”
“Now it’s different. What I feel for Adam, how I’m drawn to him, it’s so much more intense than it was with Toby, than with any man I’ve ever been with.”
“So you are in love with him,” she prodded, and I groaned, running a hand over my face.
“Yeah, Addie. I’m in love with him. You happy?”
Addie blinked at me and I felt guilty.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I know that I’m being kind of a bitch when you’ve helped me so much, but it’s just that my head is a mess right now.”
“I understand. And the hormones don’t help,” she said. “My sister was a mess every day, cried all the time when she was pregnant with both of hers.”
“Great, so I have that to look forward to,” I mumbled.
“But if you really do love him, Katie, you have to tell him. Before the baby is born.”
“God, why?” I asked, groaning.
She laughed. “Because you guys need to figure out what you’re going to be. Right now, there’s no label. You’re just two people having a kid together who have feelings for each other. Once the baby is born, you’re going to want to know if he’s just the dad, if he’s your boyfriend, if he wants to be your husband...”she trailed off.
“He clearly doesn’t want to be my husband,” I said. “He told me that straight out, that he wasn’t ready.”
“Did he say he wasn’t ready or he wasn’t interested?”
“Wasn’t ready,” I mused. He had said that he needed time. What did that mean? God, things felt so complicated. I knew that women had babies out of wedlock all the time, but all of it just seemed so confusing.
