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“Is there something you want to talk about?” Gray asked, and I looked at him for a long moment.
“Gray, how do you know when you’re in love?”
Gray groaned. “How am I supposed to know?”
I chuckled. Gray was certainly the last person I should have asked. He was more of a womanizer than I had ever been, after all.
“You’re right. I just need some rest.”
Gray nodded. “So I guess I’ll tell the rest of the business partners you’re not going out to karaoke with us tonight...” he trailed off.
I groaned. “You know I love karaoke.”
I thought about going home and going to sleep. I thought that I would probably dream of Katie, that was, if I was able to sleep at all.
Gray grinned. “So are you coming, or not?”
“I’m coming,” I muttered, grabbing my suit jacket.
We rode together and met up with Charisma Telman and Jerry Fields. They were the other two partners at the airline. Charisma was a tall, leggy blonde who I’d often had in my sights, but it just hadn’t worked out. She was always flirty with me, and as I looked at her in her club dress, I thought that maybe her presence would help me stop thinking about Katie.
After all, I was a free man, wasn’t I? I’d broken it off with Katie and she hadn’t come after me. She hadn’t texted me in the months that we’d been apart. I’d only gone to one appointment with her, to check on the babies, and everything had been fine. Katie had barely spoken to me, and I’d barely spoken to her.
So why shouldn’t I have a little fun?
I started drinking whiskey with Gray and after a couple of drinks, the edges of my brain started to go fuzzy. It felt a lot better than the sharp pain of being without Katie, thinking about her all the time.
Charisma came over, sliding in between us at the bar.
The place was two stories with a bar on each floor. They had fairy lights all over the stage where a very drunk man was doing a passable cover of “Layla” by Eric Clapton.
“Are you singing tonight?” she asked, a purr in her voice as she ordered a dirty vodka martini.
“I’ll have to be a lot drunker than this,” I admitted, laughing.
“That can be arranged,” she said, and slid me another drink. I took it, looking into her eyes, and she eventually turned away, demure. I knew that all I’d have to do was put my hand on her waist and take her out to the dance floor. I knew that I could kiss her, probably take her home.
Charisma and I had a lot in common in terms of work. We were both more interested in success than anything else. We’d probably have a one-night-stand. Then it would be over.
I looked at her as she walked off and couldn’t stop comparing her to Katie. Katie was shorter, curvier, cuter where Charisma was a little rigid. I groaned. I had to stop thinking about Katie.
“You seem distracted,” Gray said, sipping his whiskey.
“You know how I told you that I’m going to be a father again?” I said, and Gray looked at me, nodding. “Well, the mother?—”
“You’re with her, right?” Gray asked.
I took a long swig of my whiskey. “Not exactly.”
“You want to be with her,” he said, not really a question.
“I guess I don’t know that either” I admitted.
I couldn’t see myself settling down with anyone, but maybe I just ’had never given it enough of a chance. I thought about how Katie looked first thing in the morning, her hair messy, her brown eyes wide and glossy with sleep. I thought about kissing her first thing, us both having morning breath, snuggling up together, sharing pillow talk. For once, it didn’t terrify me.
“You’re not in love with her, are you?” Gray asked, as if that would be the worst thing in the world.
“You know, I think I am,” I said calmly, finishing my drink and then raising my hand to order another. “But it doesn’t matter.”
