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For what it’s worth.
I collect my prize, take some pictures, and answer a few questions for the local paper, keeping an eye on where Winnie is waiting for me. I can tell she overhears the reporter asking me about my “impressive return to riding,” because she rolls her eyes.
Keeping it real. Like when I told her she could have ridden better yesterday afternoon. Hell, she rode great. For her first time, it was practically perfection. But I’ll never say that. It’s not what she wants from me. She can get that from everyone else, and so can I. But to each other? We don’t flinch. We tell the truth. We press buttons and challenge the status quo.
I respect her too much for anything less, and she matches me in that.
Eventually, I make my way over to where she’s standing.
I gesture to the sign in her hands and the bag over my shoulder. “Maybe we can drop these off at my truck? Unless”—I smirk—“you want to carry that around with you through the carnival?”
Winnie raises the sign and smacks me lightly upside the head with it. “Are we walking through the carnival?”
“I thought we could. If you want.”Please want.I never get Winnie to myself.
Winnie lifts a shoulder, all casual, but she looks pleased with the invite. We walk through the dusty field turned parking lot and drop our things in the trunk of my SUV. I reach for a water bottle from a small cooler I keep for rodeos and pass her one before turning to sit on the tailgate in the twilight.
“How’d it feel out there tonight?” she asks.
“Familiar,” I say. “Minus the obvious, of course.”
She takes a sip of her water, holding the cap in the opposite hand. “You looked comfortable. Super relaxed. Is that something you cultivated over time, or have you always been that way?”
I consider that. “Been that way as long as I can remember. High-stress situations calm me, and straddling a bull is about as stressful as it gets. It’s not that I don’t take the danger seriously. I’m aware of the risks, but something in my brain clicks when the adrenaline kicks in and everything gets extra clear.”
Winnie nods. “I’ve heard about that kind of thing before. It’s rare, but not unheard of. Like fighter pilots. They have to be able to turn off the chaos around them and zero in on the target.”
“Not that I would compare myself to a fighter pilot, but yeah.”
“You’re a good person to have around in a crisis.”
“That’s me.”
She takes another sip and swallows, pressing her lips together.
“Go ahead.”
“What?” she hedges, turning pink in the dim light.
“I can tell you’re gearing up to ask me something. Just ask. I’m an open book.” I point my bottle toward her. “With you, anyway.”
“Okay.” She stops and restarts. “Okay. It’s only that… you don’t seem… like… you’ve been training for months and months, like me, and you won top place tonight after all that hard work, and I guess… you don’t seem very happy?”
I look away from her, staring off into the humid night. It’s not supposed to rain, but heavy gray clouds cover the sky and smother the stars from sight.
“It’s not that I’m not happy,” I say softly. “I am. But maybe I’m not as happy as Walker was, or as you are. Or maybehappyisn’t even the word. Enthusiastic? It’s given me a lot to think about. This isn’t me keeping secrets from you or anything. I don’t mind you asking. I’m just not sure what my answer is.”
“That’s fair. I could tell, you know.” She tucks a wave of hair behind her ear. “You were missing your spark.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, but I don’t think other people would notice. You aren’t obvious.” She turns even redder. “I mean. You know what I mean. There’s a difference. When you pay attention.”
My gut instinct is to give her grief for being so tongue-tied, but somehow, I know I shouldn’t. Not over this. The months of being Winnie Sutton’s friend have taught me a lot of things. She’s the capablest person I’ve ever met, and Winnie isnotthe kind of girl to get her words tied up over a guy.
I’m honored.
I know better than to say that, though. So instead, I wrap my arm around her and tug her close, planting a kiss on the top of her head. Then, before she can overthink it, I jump off the tailgate and hold out a hand. “Come on, Sutton. Let’s go find some corn dogs. I’m hungry.”
