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Brody nods thoughtfully. “He wouldn’t want that.”
“No! He wouldn’t. God, he would be so pissed at me if he knew I was still being such a bitch about the decision nearly a year after the fact.”
He laughs and drinks from his cup. “So what are you thinking of doing?”
“Well, I’ve still got a scholarship to ride. And the NFR thiswinter. I owe Walker one last gold buckle. But after that? I’m thinking of maybe branching out into broncs and roping.”
“You’d be killer at broncs. It’s dangerous as fuck, but you’ve got a good head on your shoulders for that kind of thing.”
“I like horses.”
He smirks. “I’ll bet you do.”
“And I’m planning to go into pediatric nursing,” I say, holding my breath. It only now occurs to me how much Brody’s opinion on this means to me. More than my dad’s, more than Winnie’s, even. My big brother, coach, mentor: I want so much for him to understand.
Brody’s inhale is sharp, and this time, his stoic eyes blink against tears.
“Fuck. That’s…”
“Stupid?” I guess. “A female profession? Because it’s not—”
Brody sets down his cup and rounds the counter, pulling me in for an embrace. “Shut up.”
The hug is brief, and he clears his throat, returning to his coffee. “Bro. That’s incredible. Are you sure? That shit is so hard. To watch kids fight for their lives—”
“I know. I’m sure.”
“You’d be great. Youwillbe great.”
“Thanks.”
Brody is still shaking off his emotions, and I almost crack a smile, but I don’t, because it means too much.
“Well, hell, I guess this makes things easy. I was gonna tell you I’m joining the PBR, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about competing against each other. Not that I was gonna let that stop me, but…”
“What? You are?”
He nods, scratching at the back of his neck, clearly proud. “I never shook the dream, and anyway, this place is suffocating. The memories, you know? It’s great for Mom and Dad, and I know they need it, but I gotta get out of here. Chase some sunsets, break some records, whatever. Walker always gave me shit for quitting, and he was right. I don’t regret it for one second, but it’s time I get on with it.”
“That’s incredible. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks.” He laughs low. “This worked out.”
“How long haveyouknown?” I ask.
“Too long. We’re both fucking idiots.”
I shrug one shoulder. “We were sad idiots. There’s a difference.”
Brody nails me with a long look. “You’re going to be a great nurse.”
“You’re just glad I’m not going to get in your way in the PBR. You know I’d kick your ass.”
He flashes a grin. “Whatever you gotta tell yourself, Michaels.”
The following Friday night, I’m under the lights, getting ready to jump in the chute. It’s not the last time, but it feels like it. I’ve qualified for state, and from there, it’s a hop, skip, and surely painful jump to Vegas this winter. I’m almost at the end. I’ve wondered how it felt for Walker, those last hours he was alive. Did it feel like the end? Did he know the timer was winding down on his last breaths? Or did it feel like falling asleep, only to wake up to a dream?
For me, Vegas feels like the inevitable conclusion. Even when I compete in rodeos in the future, it won’t be like this. I’ll be a part of something Walker never touched with his life.
