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“He bought them as an investment at the time. You’d be buying them for...”
“For you.”
“No.” I shake my head vehemently. “I don’t... I don’t want any money to be involved.”
It’s not just that I don’t want him to get involved in any of the questionable choices made by the company, but I also don’t want money to enter into our relationship.
I think of my father, who solves everything with money, who bought my mother a house to placate her after his first public affair, who controls her life by owning the majority shares of her company. I want to protect Nathaniel from that. I want to protectusfrom that.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated. I want to help.” He sweeps a hand through his dark hair, leaning back in the plastic chair. It raises briefly on two legs before hitting the ground with a thump.
“Are you angry?” I ask.
He blinks at me, his brow furrowing. “About what?”
“That I didn’t tell you about Hyemi. That I was helping her to debut so that her father would invest.”
He sits up in the chair, looking at me. “But that’s not true.”
“Itistrue, even if he hasn’t invested.” Even if he probably never will after today’s disaster.
Nathaniel shakes his head. “You were helping Hyemi because you were the only person who could get her ready to debut in such a short time. You trained with her, guided her through variety shows and drama sets. You didn’t do all that because you wanted to get Hyemi’s father to pay Joah, you did all that because you wanted to, because you enjoyed it, because you were good at it.”
My pulse races at his words, my skin flushing. This conversation is getting out of hand. I can’tfeelthis way.
“This scandal is bad,” I whisper. “Joah can’t have another one.”
“I don’t see why they would, unless Sun has a secret baby he hasn’t told us about.” He laughs.
“Nathaniel.” That’s all I say, just his name.
He goes still. “No.”
His eyes meet mine. “Last night, you said you meant it.”
“I did. But that was before today.”
“Why? Because of the scandal?”
I could tell him about the contract, about KS acquiring Joah, but what would that accomplish? He’s producing a song with an artist from KS. If he finds out that KS might be acquiring Joah, he might back out of this project he’s been so excited about.
“Maybe weshouldannounce a relationship,” Nathaniel says. “It’ll draw the heat off Hyemi.”
“Nathaniel, be serious.”
“That was a legitimate suggestion.” He’s joking, but there’s a catch in his voice. I’ve hurt him. I’mhurtinghim.
But I have to. For his sake, and mine. For the sake of the company.
“Joah can’t afford to have another scandal right now. Someone will find out about us. We weren’t exactly careful at the party last night.” We weren’t cautious at all, kissing with only a wall separating us from the others. I don’t know if I can hide my feelings from him, and I don’t know if he can hide his feelings from me.
“The reasons why we broke up haven’t changed,” I say. “If anything, they’ve gotten more heightened. Hyemi hasn’t even been an idol for one day and she’s already receiving hundreds of hate comments. ASAP has had an appearance canceled, maybemore. It would be so much worse if the tabloids found out about us. Your career...”
“Don’t make this about my career. I want you. I know what that means.”
My stomach flutters.
“The situation with Hyemi is different,” Nathaniel says, his voice low. “She’s a rookie. She doesn’t have fans who will support her, not yet. XOXO fans are different. They’ll have my back.”
