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He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but to me, it’s a super big deal. “Yeah, I don’t care. I know who you are, and you’re my friend.”
“Wow” is all I can think to say. I’ve always thought highly of Warren, especially since he’s kind and popular and friends with everyone yet still went out of his way to be friends with me when I was new, but he’s just moved up several notches in my mind.
In a rare instance of perceptiveness, Warren says,
“Listen, I know that we keep it light and fun and don’t get too deep about stuff, but if you want to get something off your chest, then tell me. Nothing said will leave this car.”
Maybe I shouldn’t tell him, but I believe him, and it would be nice for another friend to know some of what I feel like I’m carrying on my shoulders. So, I tell him about Officer Liu and how he knew about what happened in LA from the very beginning, and how he thinks I had something to do with Lily’s disappearance. I tell him how he’s harassing me and Jason over it and keeps pulling us over and even had Jason’s car towed, which is why Jason’s now sharing Jackson’s car. I tell him how everyone’s looking at me funny thinking I was involved with whatever happened to Lily, and how we thought Brandon was to blame, but it turns out he had his own stuff going on.
Warren listens thoughtfully through it all, and when I’m done, just like when I opened up with Zia Stella in her car, I feel lighter.
“Thank you for sharing,” Warren starts, “but you want to know what I think? People are always going to talk, and there’s nothing you can do to change what other people think of you. You can only stay true to yourself and your path and do whatever you need to do in order to get wherever you want. Fuck everyone else.”
That’s all easier said than done, but maybe he’s right.
I’m going to have to get used to the way everyone acts around me, since there’s nothing I can do to change it.
“I just wish we knew what happened to Lily,” I say.
“People wouldn’t be as interested in me if we knew where she was, if she’s okay.”
“Maybe,” Warren says. Then, because we’ll probably never know and dwelling on it won’t help anyone, he says,
“We were assigned a partner project yesterday in English.
I didn’t pick a partner because you weren’t there. Be my partner?”
He waited forme? “You can have your pick of anyone—you’reWarren—and you’re choosing to be partners with the school social pariah who was told she should be homeschooled for her own safety?”
Warren simply shrugs again. “You’re my friend, and I have fun with you, and we’ll have fun on this project.”
He says it so simply, like there’s not more to it, and the more I think about it, the more I realize he has a point.
I need to refocus on whatIwant and what’s important, which is college. I still want that scholarship reference from Mr. Lewis, still want to go to college. I’m not going to simply give up and let this drive me out of school. I’m strong enough to face whatever everyone is saying about me. I don’t care about their opinions, and it helps that I have friends like Warren, and obviously Jason, who has my back. I’m not alone, and since meeting Jason, I never have been.
It’s nice that Warren understands. He’s the first person since the news came out who’s treated me normally and not backed away or spoken gently to me or acted like I was going to flip a switch and attack them randomly. If he can do that, so can others.
I’m not going to switch to homeschooling like Principal Anderson suggested. I’m going to hold my head high and show everyone it doesn’t matter what they think of me.
I’m going to go back to school, pull my grades higher than they’ve ever been before, ace this project, apply for scholarships, and set myself up for my future. And I’ll still find justice for Lily, because I promised I would.
Warren’s been patiently waiting for my answer, and he smiles victoriously when I say, “All right, I’ll be your partner. We’re going to kick ass.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!” He laughs and starts the car. “Now, let’s get you to Jason’s before I have to reheat all my food.”
“Right.” I laugh along with him then, softer, add,
“Thanks for being here and listening to me.”
“That’s what friends are for,” he replies, and I smile because for the first time in a long time, I realize I truly do have people in my life besides Gia that I can count on.
Twenty-four
Since I wasn’t formally suspended or anything, I go to school Thursday and Friday. I’m still a social pariah, but I ignore the stares, focusing on the actual schoolwork and researching more scholarships and college programs. Most people don’t have the balls to say anything to my face anyway, not with Jason around acting like he’s one wrong look away from breaking someone’s face. Besides, Brandon was the only one who bothered harassing me in the hall, so other than the stares and sidesteps, it’s pretty easy to adjust to my new life, even with Officer Liu unjustly pulling Jason over each morning on the way to school.
I don’t eat lunch in the cafeteria, instead enjoying the crisp air outside on the bleachers with Jason. I’m not avoiding the cafeteria, not really, but I don’t know what I’d do if I sat at our lunch table and Nyah refused to look at me. I haven’t seen her these last two days I’ve been in school, except once Friday morning when I thought she was waiting by my locker, but I was too cowardly to pass her, so I avoided my locker altogether.
Before I know it, it’s Friday night, and Jason’s dropping me off at Warren’s to work on our project on his way to work. The last time I was here, I was blown away by just how huge and extravagant Warren’s house is, and today is no exception. The gate is open, and Jason pulls up the long driveway and around the water fountain, which isn’t filled with bubbles this time. The lawn is immaculate, and everything is beautifully landscaped, looking like it’s straight out of a movie. Unlike the last time I was here, there are no cars parked all over the place or people milling around, and no laughter filling the air. Instead, the place is almost eerily empty and quiet. It makes the yard and house seem even larger and more intimidating.
