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“And you, Lily,” I start, closing the distance between us, “how could you do this to your parents, to your friends? Nyah hasn’t slept properly in forever. I can hear your mom crying every day from my bathroom window!
And your dad has broken so many laws and police procedures for you it’s a wonder he’s still employed! He’s harassed meandJason! Arrested us and interrogated me.
Pulled us over and towed Jason’s car, leaving us stranded practically in the middle of the forest at midnight! This is so fucked-up on so many levels.”
The two of them at least have the decency to look ashamed, but it doesn’t appease my anger. I confided in Warren. He knew that not only was I worried about Lily in general, but her father was making life incredibly difficult for me and Jason. Just a few hours ago, he pulled Jason over! And all the while, Warren knew the truth, knew that Lily was perfectly fine, and he could’ve ended my harassment with a single phone call. Did he even care?
Did he feel guilty knowing the truth? Thinking back, there must have been signs that he was uncomfortable, but apparently not uncomfortable enough to come clean.
How long would this have gone on if I hadn’t stumbled upon it?
“It’s complicated, Siena.” Lily drags her hands over her face and sinks onto the couch. “You don’t know what my life is like. My mom is always pressuring me to be something I’m not, and my dad is always on my case to be perfect. I can’t even go to Taco Tuesday with my friends without my parents on my ass. I’m just sotiredall the time. The morning I saw you, my mom lectured me on the drive to my dress fitting—which I apparently gained too much weight for, by the way—saying she knew your mom back in the day and that if you were anything like her, you would be a bad influence and not on my approved list of friends. I have anapprovedfriends list, Siena! I just couldn’t take it anymore. They control every aspect of my life, and the thought of going home Friday night after Warren’s party made me sick to my stomach. Warren let me crash for the night, and I turned off my phone because I didn’t want to deal with anything.”
“And the blood on your shoe?” I ask.
Lily holds up her palm, a jagged scar running through it. “I accidentally sliced my hand making a late-night ‘feel better’ snack. I realized I was still wearing my shoes and I took them off so I could more easily find the first aid kit.
Warren must have found them strewn in his kitchen and hidden them away.”
Warren nods to confirm the story, and I press on. “So then what happened?”
Lily picks at the nail polish on her thumb, the same sparkly pink as her toes. Her shoulders slump, and her chin quivers as she continues. “I was just going to stay away for the weekend, unplug from life like I always do, then get back to it. But Monday I wasn’t feeling the best, so I stayed here, and then there was an assembly at school announcing my disappearance, and the police got involved, and everything was so escalated I just didn’t know how to go back.”
I feel for her, I do, but not enough to excuse what’s happened. Her parents are tough and demanding, and I know the pressure they put on her and the lies she told to make them believe she never partied or drank and only went out to study. I get that she wanted a break from her life—hell, I get it more than most people—but faking your disappearance for weeks on end is not the way to handle it. She’s being so incredibly selfish, making her parents, two people who love her, think she was dead, all because she wanted a break.
“What do you mean you didn’t know how to go back?” I ask.
“What was I supposed to do? Just go home and say,
‘Oh, sorry I scared you and turned this into a missing persons case, I was just throwing a teenage tantrum’?”
“Yes! That’s exactly what you should’ve done!”
Lily crosses her arms and straightens her back defiantly. “That would’ve made things worse.”
“And drawing it out for all this time wouldn’t?” I am so dumbfounded and angry that I feel restless, like I can’t decide if I want to yell, pull my hair out, or shake some sense into them. “And Warren,” I continue, whirling on him, “how can you be okay with this? You should’ve been the voice of reason!”
Warren rubs the back of his neck. “I just wanted to help, and I have the space. I didn’t want to pressure Lily into doing anything she didn’t want to, and she didn’t want to go home.” He hesitates for a moment before adding, “Plus, it gets lonely here by myself; it’s nice to have someone here with me.”
Lily gives Warren a timid, grateful smile. “Don’t blame him, Siena. He was just trying to help.”
He was trying to help, fine. I guess I’m glad Lily had someone she trusted enough to confide in, and Warren didn’t know it would turn into a missing persons case.
“You were at the assembly, Warren. You knew they were looking for Lily. You even talked to detectives! How could you not say something?”
Warren bites his lip. “I don’t know. I panicked. I told them she was at my party, and from the way they were talking it sounded like if I came clean, I’d get in trouble, so I just went with it . . .”
I don’t want to hear it. “You derailed an actual investigation! When you learned about it, you should’ve stepped up and told the truth, or at the very least talked to Lily, not encouraged her to continue with the charade.”
“Don’t blame him,” Lily defends her friend again.
“I don’t blame him; I blame both of you. This was so incredibly selfish.”
Even if you take out the fact that I’ve been harassed by Lily’s father because of this, I’d still be pissed. So many people were worried about Lily, thinking the worst about what’d happened to her, and this whole time she was, in her own words, throwing ateenage temper tantrum.
Warren’s stuffed his hands under the opposite armpits, looking down at his feet, and Lily has grown pale, picking at her nail polish in earnest. I take a deep, calming breath.
It’s clear they’re both feeling guilty and are in too deep.
