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Gavin took his time. “I think we’re all a little more scared than we let on.”
Nick felt the humidity in the air and wondered if a rainstorm was on the way. It would be a fitting end to the day.
“You have to understand how much she looked up to you,” Gavin said.
Nick wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. “Who? Mel?”
“Absolutely. We both did.”
“Youbothdid?” Nick laughed. “Come on.”
“I’m telling you, man, I’ve never seen you in a room where you didn’t know what to say. Plus that Rain Man recall of yours. Do you remember when Cassie Ellis came to town?”
“Sure.” Nick stared at the sky as he thought back. “It was a month or two into sophomore year, maybe? I think she used a calculator just to make the rest of us feel better about ourselves.”
Gavin nodded. “Do you remember how Mel wanted to ask her for tutoring? She waited for you to introduce her, because you’d been palling around with Cassie for a solid week.”
“I was trying to make her laugh. Cassie would’ve talked to Mel.”
“Mel thought Cassie would think she was stupid.”
“Not a chance,” Nick said. “Cassie was a sweetheart. She just didn’t do well with people.”
“See? That’s what I’m talking about. You could connect with people like that. I had to double-check whether Mel still liked me half the time, but you could remember the favorite song of every kid in the special ed class. We’d just stand back and watch you move.”
“You mean that time I let Jeremy Dolan push the walker?”
Gavin laughed. “Definitely that. But I mean the way you worked a room. It was like you were Apollo floating through the ring.”
“Or dancing.”
“Yeah. Or dancing.”
Hayley had said dancing was reacting. Being in tune with the world.
“Guess I don’t do that so well anymore,” Nick said.
“Oh, you’ve still got it,” Gavin said. “But I think you need it more now than you used to.”
“Things changed.”
“I know they did. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.”
“What?” Nick turned toward his friend. “You’ve always been there, Gavin.”
“Yeah,” Gavin said, “but I got distracted. You were down for the count after Vicki, and I thought it’d be enough to be there if you asked.Ishould’ve asked, man.”
“No. You had your own stuff.”
They watched the neighbors’ terrier sprint out of his house and test the limits of his leash. “You know you were you before you met her, right?” Gavin asked him. “Vicki wasn’t the reason people loved you.”
“Maybe not, but she was the reason I was happy, you know?” Nick let out a long breath. “And then she calls, and she says we’re moving in different directions, and I can’t fix it, because she knew we were done before she picked up the phone.”
Gavin sighed. “I wish you’d told me you thought it was because of the walker.”
“Of course it was. She wouldn’t let me live on a boat.”
“That’s not what you told me she said.”
