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After a moment, Nikolai conceded, turning back toward the horses. I jumped into the carriage and Riven followed behind me. I refused to look at him, anger shaking through my bones.
“I’m sorry I left you stranded,” he said after several long minutes. His eyes were cast along the floor.
“That’s an understatement.” I folded my arms across my chest. The parrying dagger was still clenched in my fist. I wasn’t afraid to stick him with it if he angered me even more.
“It’s not as if I think you can’t handle yourself, Keera,” Riven said. “You’ve been the Blade for thirty years. I’m sure this isn’t the first time you’ve had to work your charm over one of the king’s sons.” He didn’t even try to cover his meaning, the usual venom that laced his words was back.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I said, twirling the dagger over my wrist to distract myself from the blow his words racked against my chest.
“Nothing, other than I’m sure you handled yourself.” Riven’s jaw pulsed.
“You’re concerned about what I said when I was with the prince?” I shook my head, gripping the handle of my blade even tighter. How many times would Riven question my commitment to our plan?
Riven had the grace to look guilty.
“It wasn’t me who changed plans and disappeared, Riven,” I said, jamming my blade into the wood of the carriage wall. “But if you insist on playing by different rules, then you should know I didn’t tell himanythingabout you. Or Nik, or any of the rest. Just the opposite. I gambled withmylife. If the prince does have any doubt or need to cast blame once the dam is blown, it won’t fall on you.Iwill be the one who will answer to the Crown.Iwill be the one who will lose her head.”
I faced out the window, watching as the elegant hedges of the manor turned to stone and we left the grounds behind.
“How can I believe you?” Riven whispered.
“You’re a prick, you know that?” I barked, pulling my blade from the wall. “I don’t know how many more times I can spin the same words with you, Riven. Why would I implicate any more people than necessary? My life is not worth any more than yours or any of your Elverin.” My chest heaved against the tight bodice, wrapping me in a fire that flared my rage.
Riven’s brow relaxed as he weighed what I said. I straightened against the seat. I was tired of carrying my part of the missionandRiven’s doubt of me. I tossed the blade onto the tufted bench and crossed my arms. It was time he made his choice.
“I’m sick of this,” I said, steadying the anger in my voice. “You need to decide right now if you trust me. We’re not going to live long enough to carry out the plan if you don’t. I thought after Caerth you’d have realized that, but no—you go gallivanting off in the House of Harvest without telling me where or why and expect me to clean up the mess. And then you have the gall to callmea liar.” Hot air steamed from my nose. I didn’t know what angered me more, Riven’s accusations, or my disappointment that we had not grown as close as I thought. The memory of Riven’s lips on mine replayed in my mind. Had I imagined his expression as he looked at me,sawme, on that dance floor? How could he be so tender in one moment and think so little of me the next?
“You’re right,” Riven said, pulling me from my thoughts.
My eyes fluttered in shock.
“I shouldn’t have left without telling you what I was up to,” he said, pushing a strand of hair out of his face. “It’s the reason Nik is angry with me too. I know you noticed.”
I nodded but didn’t interrupt him. Not when I was finally getting some answers.
“Nik learned that Curringham has been wanting to invest in an alternate trade route,” Riven continued, leaning his head back against the wall. “He wants to build a road from Cereliath to Volcar. I decided it was too good of an opportunity to miss out on, so I made sure his assistant knew I was interested.”
“Nik didn’t agree?” I asked, raising my brow. I would buy that Elf a drink when we made it to Silstra.
“Yes.” Riven nodded. “He thought it was too dangerous to add something else to the plan. He especially didn’t like when I left without telling you.” Two drinks. More, I’d buy Nik an entire pub.
“Why didn’t he explain this to me when he picked me up?” I asked, biting my lip. If Riven had ordered him not to say anything, I didn’t think I could be trusted with the blade sitting beside me.
“You should ask him,” Riven said with a shrug. “But knowing Nik, I’d guess he didn’t want to needlessly upset you. I was supposed to be done with the trade investment by the time you arrived, but his assistant caught me on the way out. He wanted to have another conversation in Curringham’s office. That’s where I was.”
“That’s everything?” I asked.
Riven nodded.
“Truly?” I pushed. “I’m not in the mood forneed to know.”
“Everything I told you is true,” Riven replied, his voice softer now. “I’ve never lied to you, Keera.” His violet eyes pierced through me until I forgot to breathe. The air crackled with that same electricity that scattered across my skin when we touched.
I leaned back against the seat. I was too angry to touch him, even though I wanted to. “Do you trust me?” I asked, picking up the blade again. I needed to hold something, or I would reach out for Riven.
He bit his lip. My fingers clenched the dagger. I was sick of his tests.
“I trust you want to bring down the king. That you’ll sacrifice whatever is needed to achieve it,” he said, drumming his fingers along his knee. “And I promise I won’t make any changes going forward without discussing them with you. That’s the best I can do.”
