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Nikolai tilted his head at me with curiosity. He grabbed his ankle over his knee. “This is the first I’m hearing of it.”
I rolled my eyes. “I told you last night.”
“No, you asked how many stuffed closets I had among my grove, my room, and my apartment.” Nikolai flicked a stray piece of thread from his pants. “And the answers depends on whatever this so-calleddisasteris.”
I took a deep breath. “I know Feron is planning on hosting a welcoming ceremony for the Shades and I would like the three of you to help him.”
Gwyn’s head perked up as Nikolai and Dynara exchanged glances. Dynara spoke the question they were both thinking. “There are many you could ask, why us?”
“There are few I would trust with something as important as this.” I pulled on the ends of my sleeves. “And Riven and Syrra have their own task to occupy them for the next few days.”
Nikolai leaned back in his chair and gave me a soft, proud smile. Syrra had told him where we would be going and why. “We can have the ceremony when you return. I’m sure the Shades would want you here.”
My chest tightened, unsure if that was true. “I don’t know if it’s feasible, but I think the Shades would appreciate having somethingelse to wear apart from their black garb. They’ve worn black for too long.”
Nikolai’s smile fell to a serious line. “Yes. They have.”
Dynara grabbed my hand. “I think that is a lovely idea, Keera. But are you sure you don’t want to be the one to lead it?”
I shook my head. I looked at Nikolai and saw the Elf who had everything taken from him but had never stopped laughing. Even going as far as to adopt his own Halfling son, knowing that he would far outlive him, knowing that he would carry a piercing stitch in his heart after only a few short years. In Dynara, I saw a Halfling who had fought for her freedom with everything she had, to the brink of death, and made herself a home amongst the Elverin while still doing everything she could to liberate the Halflings she had been forced to leave behind.
Neither of them had succumbed to their vices. Neither of them crumbled with the weight of their grief and loss. That was who I wanted the Shades to look to now that they had the chance to put their pasts behind them.
Not me, who was still haunted by her ghosts.
“I know what it is to be broken, but you know what it is to be mended.” I grabbed both of their hands. “Thatis what the Shades need most and I can’t think of two people more fit to provide it.”
Nikolai stood and slapped his hands against my upper arms. “You speak as if you aren’t mending right before our eyes, Keera dear.”
I glanced at Gwyn, hoping she would find the same strength Nikolai and Dynara had given me. I took a deep breath and gave them the only truth I had. “I’m trying.”
Dynara’s wide lips broke into a rosy grin and she nodded approvingly. “You won’t even recognize the Shades when you return.”
They stood and Nikolai walked alongside Dynara, keeping a respectable distance as they mapped out their plans. They turned,glancing back at Gwyn. “Are you coming?” Dynara asked by both tongue and hand.
Gwyn stood and nodded, but she didn’t cross the room. Instead she twisted her fingers and stared at the floor. After three tantalizingly long breaths, she darted around the table and wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace.
I was still catching my breath when she let go and scurried out of the room. I stood there, smiling long after they had disappeared into the tunnel. A spark of hope flared through my chest as I realized Gwyn was trying too.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
RIVEN WAS WAITING FOR MEin the grand hall. He held up a small vial of a yellow elixir as his shadows curled around my feet. Riven uncorked the vial and handed it to me. I took a quick swig and instantly felt my headache settle to a manageable pulse.
Riven raised a hand to my forehead. “The sweats seem to have stopped.”
“I ate some birch berries from the kitchen.” I corked the vial and tucked it into my belt. “Rheih taught me they helped with nausea too.”
Riven’s fingers laced through mine as we walked to one of the staircases. It was strange, holding his hand so openly, without fear of who would see. My transition to living in the Faeland had not been an easy one for either of us and then I had made things worse. This time it felt like we were just existing like anyone else in thecity. My heart swelled with the unfamiliarity of it all. I had never been able to be so open in the short time I had with Brenna.
I tried not to think about how my time with Riven could end up being short too.
Riven noticed my slow pace as he stepped onto the curved stairs. “Are you having second thoughts? If you want to stay with the Shades—”
I shook my head. “They’re in good hands.”
Riven peered at the sunlight shining from above. “We should hurry then. Syrra has already left to prepare and we have two daylight portals to travel through if we want to make it to Vellinth by dusk.”
“Vellinth?” I tilted my head. I had never heard of the place before.
