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NO ONE SPOKEas we traveled to the ports. It felt like the entire city had joined us for the journey, the trail ahead was full of children and families in constant embrace. The war had finally come to knock on the doors of theFaelinthand too many of its residents had already lived through the perils to come.
It was painted on their faces. Grief and fear that stirred inside each of them until it turned into resolve. There was no other choice, but it didn’t make it an easy one. The united tension made it hard to breathe as the convoy reached the beach.
The children were already barefoot, running across the sand and leaving footprints of every possible color. Bright and shiny under the light of the setting suns. I took a deep breath at the sight and knew the others saw it too. This is what we were fighting for. The time to protect ourselves from the miseries of the Crown had gone, butperhaps if we fought hard enough we could spare the next generation of Elverin from the same fate.
I swallowed the burning sensation in my throat and recognized it for what it was. Fear of failing again. It terrified me, the thought of what Damien could do to this place, but I would do everything in my power to prevent it.
Killian rode beside me. He had become something of a shadow ever since we returned to theFaelinth. Rarely speaking, but always there. I wondered if he felt like he owed it to Riven to protect me. My stomach lurched at the thought. Riven had spent so much of his time trying to spare me any harm, but when it mattered most I couldn’t do the same for him.
Killian opened his mouth to speak but I spoke first. “Is it about this mission?”
Killian’s jaw snapped shut and he shook his head.
“Then it is a distraction.” I dismounted my horse and unlatched my saddlebags. “And we cannot afford any distractions.”
I didn’t need to look back to know my footprints had turned almost gray. I had no space for any other emotion beyond grief. But I would reshape it, mold it into something sharp and dangerous, use it to stoke my power and destroy whoever waited for us in Volcar.
I reached the dock along the port and saw a group of Shades dressed in brown cloaks the same color as my own. Fyrel stood with them and next to them was Gwyn.
My heart raced as I saw they were both dressed to fight.
“Is this meant to be a joke?” I turned to Myrrah and Gerarda behind them. “They are barely sixteen!”
Fyrel lifted her chin and straightened her back like an initiate waiting for her command. Gwyn’s blue eyes narrowed and she dropped to the ground, slashing at my leg with hers. By the time my eyes opened, she had a knife pressed to my throat.
I took a deep breath before gently pushing her off me but Gwyn took the opportunity to pin my arms.
Gerarda smirked proudly.
“You’ve been training her?” I snarled.
Gerarda crossed her arms. “She was angry. I merely gave her a place to channel it.”
Gwyn waved her hand at me and then signed several things very quickly. I didn’t need an interpreter to know what she meant when she dragged her hand across her left eye.
My shoulders fell. “Gwyn, Damien will not be there.”
Her cheeks turned pink and she stomped her foot. I tried to remain calm, but there was no way I was going to let her on that ship.
I placed my hands on her shoulders, grateful she didn’t immediately shove them off. “I am not discounting all the training you have done. Gerarda would only spend time with you if you showed promise.”
Gwyn smiled and it almost took my breath away. But it still was not enough for me to let her risk her life.
“If you want to meet Damien on the battlefield then I will not block your chance, but you will need to go through the same tests every Shade takesafterwe return from Volcar.”
Gwyn shook her head, her hands gesturing wildly in front of her. I cupped them in my own and bent so we were speaking eye to eye. “Gwyn, I love you.” I swallowed a thick breath. “And Iwillcome back and help you train. And when you are ready you can join us, but until then you must remain here. I will not be able to focus if I am worried about you.”
Gerarda stepped forward and placed a hand on Gwyn’s shoulder. “That is a fair deal, Ring.”
“Ring?”
Gerarda shrugged. “Seemed a fitting name for the one who plucked out Damien’s eye.”
Gwyn’s lip twitched upward in a proud grin. Rheih appeared at our side and nodded at her. “Come, youngling. There are plenty of tasks to be done.” She gave me a knowing look over her shoulder as they both walked back down to the beach. “I will teach you how to make healing ointments and how to stitch the skin together quicker than Keera’s hands can manage.”
I watched them until Gwyn’s red curls disappeared into the edge of the forest with the other Elverin who were staying behind. Then I turned on Gerarda like an angry dog. “Why would you tell her she could come to Volcar? Two months of training and you think she’s ready for a mission?”
Gerarda rolled her eyes. “Of course not. I never told her she could come. She showed up here in this one’s armor.” She shoved Fyrel, who had the decency to blush.
