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“Oh, that’s a weak fucking excuse.”
“I know it is. But the other reason is ridiculous, so I’m going with it.”
“You’re bloody not. You tell me right now why you went for me, or else.”
He’s got nothing, call his bluff, her brain suggested.
And foolishly, she listened.
“Or elsewhat?” she sneered at him.
Then got pretty much what she deserved for poking the bear.
“I’ll kiss you again.”
“Alfie, you wouldn’t.”
“You better believe I would. And I’ll make it twice as dirty, too.”
“I refuse to accept there even is such a thing. People would combust.”
“So you’d better explain then, hadn’t you. And quick, the clock is on.”
She heard him actually tap his watch. Like a crime boss, giving her sixty seconds to consider his diabolical deal. Though the weirdest part was: it really did work. She didn’t even make it to ten before she cracked like an egg. “Fine. I did it because I wanted to feel that way again,” she blurted out.
Then braced herself for the no doubt terrible repercussions of admitting this.
And got complete bemusement instead:
“But you seem tohatefeeling this way,” he said.
Even though he had to understand, really. He had to know that she wasn’t just disgusted by him, or something like that.Surely you know, she thought, but as the silenced deepened, she realized. He truly didn’t. He needed her to actually explain.
“Yeah, but not because it’s horrible, Alfie.”
“Well, if it’s not horrible, then why exactly?”
“It’s just embarrassing to me. To be all overwhelmed like this.”
More silence, then. And this time it was nerve-racking enough that she tried to glance at him, through the darkness. Just to catch a glimpse of his expression, maybe, so she could take a guess as to what response he was cooking up. But all she could make out was the pale curve of his turned-away face, the gleam of his cuff links, a hint of his fist where it lay on what could have been his thigh.
So she had to wait for what felt like an agonizingly long time.
Before he finally, finally spoke.
“You’ve got nothing to feel embarrassed about, love. I want you to enjoy yourself,” he said. Then just in case that wasn’t wild enough, he added: “In fact, if I’m being honest, I might be slightly encouraging that state of affairs.”
And when he did she thought two things:
That it was completely unhinged of him to do this.
But that it also explained a lot of things.
“Sothat’swhy you groped my arse.”
“Oh yeah. Definitely why. No question about that.”
“Well, good job. Now I’m dying of being turned on.”
