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Ah, she thought.So that’s what he’d been trying to argue for.Which made a lot more sense in a way she should have immediately guessed, considering how fraught everything now was. But a lot less in a way he clearly hadn’t. “Okay, but why? I’m far better equipped to do it than you are,” she pointed out.
Only to have him look at her like she was bananas.
“How the fuck do you figure that one?”
“Well, for starters, I don’t have a fucked back.”
He held up his hands. “Hang about,fuckedis just a little bit strong there.”
“Okay. Then how about the fact that I’ve got more natural padding.”
“Mate, you’re not gonna win this by bragging about how hot your tits and arse are. In fact, if anything that’s just going to make me more furious. Because now I saidhot titsandarseto you when we only vowed about ten second ago to never be disgusting about each other ever again.”
He shook his head at the end of that little tirade.
As if he couldn’t believe what he’d just done.
And to be fair, she kind of felt the same about what he’d said. The wordshot titsandarsewere now swirling around inside her head, like a tornado designed to strip her of all good sense. She actually almost asked him if he really felt that way about her body, and only managed to hold on by digging her nails into her palms until the pain made her normal enough to say something reassuring instead.
“That wasn’t disgusting. And we hardly vowed,” she went with.
To which he shoved out an exasperated noise and looked at the ceiling again.
“Fine, then. It was weird, and we decided. How does that sound?”
“More like the truth. But I’m still not completely happy with it.”
“So tell me what you would be happy with.”
“Getting some bloody sleep, Alfie.”
“Then get in the bed, you awkward little shit.”
God, she even liked him calling her an awkward little shit. He said it, and her stomach actually did a weird flip. As if it were the equivalent of complimenting her butt and boobs, when of course it wasn’t. It was rude and he was being a big jerk and she was supposed to be annoyed. So she did her best to be.
“No,” she said. “I’m taking the floor. And you can’t stop me.”
“I can. Because I swear to god if you try to I’m just going to lie down on it, too. And I’m going to do it right next to you, as well. To completely invalidate your whole reason for making such an annoying, stubborn, silly choice.”
She shook her head at him. “You wouldn’t. You’re bluffing.”
“Yeah. If by bluffing you mean sandwiching myself so tight against your body we have to get a doctor to separate us in the morning.” He took a step toward her. And dropped his voice by what felt like about seventy octaves. “Is that what you want, Mabel? You want surgery because you spent all night with my abs glued to your hip?”
“Not your abs. Alfie, say you would never do that with your abs.”
“I’d do worse. In the middle of the night, I’llbreathein yourear.”
He leaned in on the last word. Just to really drive it home.
Because he was an arsehole, a really annoying arsehole.
Whom she now had to concede to.
“Okay, you sod. Fine. I will sleep in the bed,” she said. But the problem was she couldn’t leave it at that. Of course she couldn’t—there was no way she’d ever let someone who reallywould suffer on the floor actually sleep on it. He’d hardly be able to walk tomorrow if she did, so what else was she supposed to do? She had to add: “But you’re going to have to come with me.”
Even though she knew what kind of response she was going to get.
“Oh yeah,” he said. “And how are you gonna make that happen? Magic?”
