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Rambo
The next ones in the series are probably harder, but they’re shit.
Commando
I mean you’ve got to include summat with Schwarzenegger, haven’t you?
Die Hard
Apart from the stuff about him getting over himself and loving his wife for who she has become instead of trying to hold her back it’s a ten on the bruise scale, especially when his feet get all fucked up.
FourteenApparently, a Shoe Being Tied Can Be Sexy
She knew within about an hour of saying it wasn’t going to be hard that it was going to be very hard indeed. Mainly because of things like her agent, who upon being told it was true wanted to start talking about selling the rights to her story. And then there was her sister, the one she hadn’t seen for years, asking if they could go on a double date.To somewhere fancy, she added,that he can pay for.
And she wasn’t the only one suggesting such a thing.
The girl who used to bully her in high school had the same idea.You could both come round for a cup of tea, she’d written, with a P.S. on the end that wanted to know about a possible signed number eleven shirt. Which was bad, it was definitely bad. But somehow still didn’t quite reach the heights of sayingyesto the questionare you actually dating Alfie Hardingon Twitter.
Just via DM, she thought.
To a few more friends than Connie and Berinder—most of whom were cool about it. They thought she was secretive, but that wasn’t new. And they were excited, though not in a bad way. In fact, she felt better about things after sharing with other people. Even if it was just in this small way, which kept things as light and throwaway as she usually liked conversations to be.See, she told herself.You can open up sometimes. You can be real.
You don’t always have to joke and smile and be sunny.
And then she checked her timeline and discovered that one of these friends had screencapped her messages, and sent them out to literally everyone in the entire world. Or at least, literallyeveryone in the entire world was the way it felt. Because thirty seconds after the tweet went out, it had twenty-seven thousand responses.
And all of them were even more intense than any she’d received over mostly speculation. Some people were absolutely furious that she was daring to date Alfie Harding. Especially the ones who thought they were communing with him on the astral plane. And the other contingent—the ones who seemed to be supporting her—were still being kind. They were saying things likedo it for the big babes.
But it felt even more uncomfortable than it had before. Like she was just a body. Or holding up a trophy for a race she hadn’t even agreed to enter.I won a man people think of as much more normal than me, she thought, and then kind of wanted to stab her own brain out.
And not just because that idea was gross about her.
There was also the fact that it was gross abouthim.
It made him a thing, a prize, an object.
All of which she would have hated if he was just a bloke to her.
But she especially hated it now when she was starting to suspect that he wasn’t. That in fact, it could well be that she considered him a good friend. And definitely more of one than the dude who’d just sold her out for likes and clicks.Oh, come on, he had messaged her, right after posting her private confessions to the entire internet.Are you really saying you’re not loving the attention?
